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Talking to your teen or pre-teen can be a delicate situation for dads. Dr. Manny sits down with Erika Katz, author of “Bonding Over Beauty,” about...
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Yeah.
Hello welcome to -- -- I'm Dr.
Manny.
Think back to your -- years what comes to mind all awareness puberty and lots and lots of questions the last thing you wanted to do.
Was in Tokyo Paris right as a father of a preteen girl.
I -- use a little less and how to talk to my daughter about growing up so here is Erica cats achieves the author of bonding over beauty Erica thanks for coming tell me.
One of the rule which.
Because I know I know my my daughter -- twelve going to be thirteen soon and I see now that the rules are changing a little bit what are the rules for dads.
Well -- -- the number one thing I remember growing up and my dad had to me.
My daughter is becoming a law.
And I would par five.
I don't see that girls do not like to hear that right so that's number one so don't bright don't either as a woman.
Through your eyes and don't tell -- that.
The funny thing is to remember in father of the -- -- -- Steve Martin's daughter -- -- -- and getting married and he's he's a four year old.
Right well you have to really she's not force you to be -- -- to treat it that way so she closes her door to change clothes it's okay if she does in the bathroom at districts not.
That's really important.
And dads and Brothers know more walking around the house in your little underwear.
You have to put on some -- hand to be a little more appropriate and also another Yankee -- -- is -- point things out they'll say.
You're kind of looking a little chubby or -- pimple on your face this is the absolute worst thing you can do to between girl -- -- -- -- feeling self conscious.
Just keep it to yourself.
So okay I I understand all that and and I'd really you know what -- look at my -- I have a picture of her when she was like three years old.
And it's one of these adorable pictures and -- have it right next to my office in the hospital.
And I literally look at it every single day.
Because I keep -- within and I said oh my god I wish.
You -- she would be just like -- but I see -- growing up and changing but one of the things that I have difficulty with.
Is.
With rule which now on the rule maker in -- own we'd sort of briefly met before but you can see how much of an over power bringing.
Paris and I give me at home.
-- you dying in -- rules.
Who -- -- -- jurors.
But curfew at certain time and one of the issues of course now is makeup.
Okay so you like keep out of it.
Like say what I mean.
First of all.
Into eighteen century can't make up is not the same when you think -- make up I know what you're thinking you're thinking bright red lipstick black eyeliner.
That's not -- make a pass to -- I think to make a rule on me that no make up to -- sixteen it's just it's not really.
With the times -- think she can do in stat mom or dad your daughter says hey I wanna Wear lipstick thing you know get you some lip -- I you know others great -- yeah but but odxa compromise got a little disagree -- you that would tell you why when I want.
That kid and many few moments ago.
-- stay there would that make up was the make up by again and we didn't have the the Glaus or whatever.
But we did not have the Internet we did not have the social media and what I seen and this is -- caught little girls doing this.
They -- to school.
Paris dropped them off and as soon as the Paris dropped them off they go into the bathroom and they put the -- Carol.
You know lining it why because dad things you can't Wear make up your sixteen if you don't make such a big deal about it it's not gonna be such a big deal.
-- -- -- -- -- You know what it's kind of a pain in the neck to Wear make up all the glitter woman gets help -- make -- they don't go back.
I don't think that's -- I have a nine year old daughter and I -- and is very open minded about make up an a lot of companies are we sending me different things to try.
She puts it way sometimes Giuliani there.
Talk to me when she's thirteen.
It's like a little make up I don't ask don't they -- all right when -- -- -- make a little while.
Because one day is going to be the make up the next day's going to be the tattoo of the nose ring the next day is going to be there what -- ever.
So.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- My daughter can't shave her legs well she's fourteen years I do not understand that one.
This to be an individual thing he can't be so arbitrary I -- I know that some day he.
It -- what is it about self esteem.
Finally do it without.
Well let's talk about two things because I remember doing this to my boys and -- two boys having a longer.
The boys are used to be when -- only thirteen yelled jokingly a -- is -- -- have a girlfriend.
Because I wanted to see how there's natural socialist nation was in school.
Now I will never pass my daughter -- do you have a little boy friend but how will get the info without really asking.
Well first of all you have to be a little more open and a little less -- On the rules you have to you have to be able to talk to her and electric field that -- -- -- -- -- because.
Look you're a doctor you really know the trip.
You know the answers to the tax questions right so if she comes to you and she asks you a question about sex.
You have the right answer her thirteen year old friend does not so you want her to come to you you don't -- contain -- her to the point where she thinks.
I can't talk to my dad's wanted to go to my friend because her friend is not gonna give -- the right information.
But you are seen have to get that delicate balance where she feels like daddy's not so scary.
And I can't talk to him but if I come to daddy and I ask him something that he's going to be keeping an honest answer an open answer.
And and one that scary no when you get for that answer you can impart some your values in that not slim it down her throat not call people names.
But to speak can't it be honest and that's where you can impart your feelings on the issue tour.
So really you wanted to come to you you don't want to intimidate her to the point which you speak to him.
What do you think about social media what should we be concerned -- know drew when do we.
You know and we have.
You know hard rules.
Here's we need some girls alright okay so number one -- you need to own every password if they have a cellphone if they have a computer.
If they have a FaceBook account a Twitter account you need to know the past where it's not just be friends on FaceBook because they can block you.
And I would I would watch that account every week I wanna see what -- posting and you have to talk to them about it.
-- second thing so many parents say help I don't know about Twitter I don't know about social media.
Rate now if you have to make your business now.
Get yourself a Twitter account a FaceBook account all these things you need to be proficient and know exactly what's going on sit there to really important things about social media.
Number three you have to talk to your kids about it.
This is appropriate this is inappropriate this is cyber bullying.
Go online look at things that other kids are doing and say this is what you shouldn't be doing.
-- All over beauty this is the book to get but we'll thank you for coming thank you so much for having me.
I did you have any health questions you can email Leo at fox I've -- -- many of foxnews.com until next time -- document.
