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So doctor -- we're gonna talk today let me just get to my topic -- led to hold on a second folks because it's a good charisma.
You're -- born with it.
Or maybe you can learn it first of all how important is it to have charisma.
And charm what as you demonstrate a giant absolutely ahead of me I -- I need to do it.
Charisma -- -- -- radiated -- what do you think it is important and remember here's the thing about charisma it's in the eye of the -- -- In other words prison is about convincing people in a particular audience to do you want them to do.
So it is a very important thing now the debate has always been is this something that.
You're born went.
Or something that you can learn as a percent of behaviors that you generate over time where -- some combination.
As someone who spend my time dealing with helping managers and executives and leaders develop.
I'm always curious about what can you learn and where can I not move the ball.
So I had a chance to speak to -- -- fox to being who wrote this new book called the charisma in this.
Where she sets out to dispel this idea that person is something your born.
So what's interesting is she looks at -- really as a set of behaviors.
And these -- behaviors that we can influence in different ways now and I can sit here and tell you that some people are more predispose.
It's acting a certain weight and others some people are just more naturally outgoing -- naturally engaging.
Than other people there's no doubt about it so.
With some people -- to move the needle a little further than with others.
So but which she talks about is.
How do you move that -- And the way she defines Christmas she's got three.
Kind of different components that we have a Planet Green -- Says she's -- sick prisoners being made up of presents.
Power and more.
Now the first -- very interest thing.
Because presence is something that I challenge people with all the time.
And they you know in this world wide wired web world that we live all of that and all of the above.
Being present can be really challenging.
One of things that I never do you never see here is my Blackberry.
Or any I device because important for me to make sure that an engaging with the person talking to.
What does -- cover so to preferences and then present in the moment yes in the moment so there -- two things that are impediments to presents the first thing would be external distractions like new ways things going on.
Mind your Blackberry be being.
Your computer over here like all the -- right work and I'll never quite sellers -- eye contact they must count.
Of course accounts.
No the other thing I think it's more challenging if we forget about him presents.
That's an impediment is -- mind.
So he every -- meeting where you're sitting there having a conversation with someone and then when you're try to listen you're thinking of something else.
During a grocery list I think we're only gonna say.
But it may do or you think get elected I see that than to speak your beating yourself up.
That's a challenge so if you're not present engage with someone there's no way you -- -- -- demonstrate Christmas.
Says sounds like focus and concentration.
-- and techniques that would be meditation certain meditative techniques but also just.
Paying attention stop.
Clear out the new windows just pay attention of the person Friday.
That's a learned skill that that can it is a learned skill but again some people are more natural than others so now the second one -- power.
Projecting power there -- lots of ways to do that.
So possibly by the -- you sit.
And circumstance -- in his interaction.
-- wearing pinstripes it.
Could -- patents -- I've -- power suit today is that power and the power suit.
-- of course it is art remember when people look at -- they get first impressions from a number of things and they're gonna take visual cues were visual people whether we realize it or not.
So you see that visual cue and you go.
You gonna make a judgment someone really sloppily dressed at the -- of delay getting out.
And they're probably not that affluent and powerful are successful or organized or organize.
And now that may or may not be true but it's how you perceive someone.
So remember that first impression.
This cards can be stuck in your favor or against okay.
So what's after how warm I think that's -- -- -- and radiated.
Young and -- inbreeding -- is tough to do genuine warmth right you can't fake it and that's the problem.
So in any of these techniques -- support to do is reach into what's natural to you -- trying project that.
Don't try and do something that's false or fake -- is fairly method acting we're trying to do.
What of the three warmth to it according to -- -- she says is by far the hardest to teach and train -- Well some people are naturally warm some were not raised around warm.
For some people right if they're more standoffish.
And maybe very warm people but I cannot exercise -- It can you teach that to some exec is remember warmth is really about intending goodwill of people write you one in ten something did you wanna make them feel good.
Some of us do a better job of displaying that physically than others and as you said because of the can be court cultural norms.
Or praise for religious rules are all sorts of things you grow up with that will create constraints -- to you -- Some of those things and you might be able -- on learn in unleash that natural intent.
-- some people who just aren't naturally warm.
It's going to be a tougher challenge no doubt about -- you may want to work more on the power.
And I think you do we can all look it even political candidates there.
I can Mitt Romney doesn't project to warm -- -- Beatles have said that he right it's difficult for some people to feel like he can relate to the average guy is that -- That's a part of it -- people who have met him personally say he's -- most down to earth warm nice guys and that's the difference right it's projecting it to a large crowd -- on camera verses in person or two very different things can't just wrapped up so doctor -- and worrying about how you projecting to other people that it gets -- -- -- not yourself anymore right you don't wanna do that that's taking it too far.
Edwards you want to think of just -- simple little things that you're doing that may be impediments to engaging with somebody.
Like when it comes to how you dress -- act for the way you --
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