The parenting guide for moms
Kristine Carlson explains her new book 'Don't sweat the small stuff for moms'
- Duration 10:16
- Date Apr 30, 2012
Kristine Carlson explains her new book 'Don't sweat the small stuff for moms'
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All hello I'm here I'm just chatting to my friend here Christine -- look back on that I'm sorry about that.
Funny like we have a lot to combat Christine Collison is the all -- all do don't sweat the small stuff.
For moms I'm sure all probably millions that you have one of the don't sweat.
Series of books on you bookshelves or what was the first one -- -- -- 97.
And IE 77 hits over the first council the small stuff book written by her husband Richard Carlson -- will talk about him in a moment but up.
Why moms in particular.
Well back at that time and I lions.
There are nine books in the series and I had written one for women and Richard -- -- one for family.
At that time I think I was just far too overwhelmed with being a mom to write about it so you have -- -- -- tickets and to -- kids how old -- how old is your children my daughters are twenty entering three.
-- -- you have you have a life kind of Xperia NASA doesn't weigh all of not sweating the small stuff so yeah I mean what -- what is it particularly about moms that.
They need to think -- -- for themselves to help them not sweat the small stuff that.
The number one thing that moms need to be aware of is that a lot of times -- idea of what we think we're supposed to be as women.
Is not necessarily how we are -- winner in that situation and I think that women.
Are sort of trained to be superheroes in a lot of ways and we create so much stress for ourselves holding ourselves to such a high standard of perfection.
That's -- the first chapter in the book is you don't have to be a perfect mother.
-- -- -- -- How do you get that into your head because that it's -- really hard thing to do there is so much pressure on -- and there are so many sort of examples you see in the media of these people who supposedly -- -- -- but everybody's struggling really hard as he.
And is so true I think of a culture we need to realize that.
If we hold ourselves to this unattainable expectations and we're also probably holding our children to the same example -- and creating a lot of pressure and stress -- license just really not needed in some months.
Of happiness and being happy is about having perspective about life it's not really gonna happen because.
You get something that you want or -- You achieve a new locker later anything it's gonna happen because you decide that's what's a priority for used to choose happiness and peace overstressed these.
-- riding anyone -- views saying that she wants to get this for her daughter who is a struggling single mom -- I love this -- -- all the difference for single homes as well there is and I been violence and my husband passed away when I had a fourteen year old and a seventeen pounds so.
I -- a lot of chapters for the single mom because I think as far as a group of moms that house to be the highest stressed scripture is saying they don't have the support.
Then married couple has when their raising kids and parenting so there's a couple chapters -- -- like how to build your family team.
I'm really looking at raising a child like you need a tribe and a village to really raise a child it's not just about you.
I'm even looking and you know assembles it sounds like it here and your family -- can be your party your family team you know just because -- -- -- inherent part of raising children is to have pets and to take care of them.
And to be friends with them and stuff.
And it's very easy I think for a lot of our viewers to sort of -- -- you.
Think he you know you part of this amazing.
Was it 25 million copies of the items what series sold.
You beautiful you have two beautiful children.
You have a perfect life but you -- as you just alluded to you've really struggled as well.
How -- I -- -- was 46.
X yeah it was 450 -- he was on a -- routine flight to new York and he and how -- pulmonary embolism on the flight that took his life.
And you know is like any.
Not days started out like any other busy day in my life -- said goodbye ideal.
To Richard your husband outspending him expecting to hear from him that he landed safely in new York and in -- I have a phone call from a doctor and nurse and -- and you know -- -- -- there's nothing like parenting your kids through -- to you're going through -- yourself and then.
You know my kids were in high school on and talk about slowing -- yourself completely down payments slowed down to a stop.
But there was some amazing gifts and and some.
Really healthy things that came out of that you know kind of got us off of this cultural bandwagon where my kids -- on this incredible fast track and it really got us off that bandwagon and really slow this -- to life in a different way and when you when you -- that cold do you feel like your life is literally falling -- I.
I can't -- managing.
And it made it -- movements making the testament to that might just yeah.
That -- it's the phone call that every -- -- You know nobody wants to live through -- and you know you hope to never have to live through something like that again and it's just do light stops and it's -- confidence up and then.
How do you know and you've gone through -- going through the most devastating thing -- Did anybody could go through I think but you've got to think of your children as well.
Well and in fact I mean one of the beautiful things about having children is that.
When you are going through something like that they really help you survive I mean I don't know how I would of done without my children because I had to get up every day.
I had to get up and feed them through.
Their life you know and that helped me get through my -- grief and get through my life Islam that you wrote about this too and -- in and I did I did read a book called heart broken open and memoir through loss to self discovery and I roughed up but because.
I was really shocked.
The transformation available to anyone who's going through just such deep suffering grief and then.
It's hard to tell people that but there's actually amazing -- and that processing and I was shocked I was sad and terrible grief and terrible devastation.
And -- I felt that I was waking up to life in a totally different way than I had been living before.
What was there.
Singing is there one single thing that you changed most but all of that date changed most about you when -- approach to life that.
Yeah yeah I mean you know Richard I was fearful Richard -- the world how to be president and -- -- I was probably not as present as I was after he really -- being present just to be really immersed in the present moment to be living life.
Every moment is supposed to in your future in their past in -- -- really immersed in the present moment and went to appreciate them having their say with complete gratitude and I think that I didn't truly understand what that wasn't home.
Living in my future was too painful living in my house was too painful and in grief.
People are incredibly presence and and that's when I learned the most.
And that serve you well.
Every day since then and has how they feel that I am more me than I've ever been and and it's been easier to be -- for some reason I think that there's a way and -- Sometimes until we've gone through some very deep -- reminds -- -- up a wall of expectation here around ourselves and and certainly grief just completely shattered bat for me now.
From almost as we approach Mother's Day your -- looking -- obviously as well as a as a having brought up.
Working grand mom I think looking back -- finally I think -- I did I see them every two weeks thereafter -- four hour drive from me but.
I the first year I spent every Monday it was launching a book and everything but I called banana Monday he -- -- school I would just take the whole day off since then that was -- and then and we are incredibly bonded they've moved away a sense but I drive.
Where they live every two weeks to examine it's really amazing.
What what's your message to women who -- -- seen as one of the one of the things that.
That is the biggest struggle is that balance the feeling of guilt the balancing the look and family.
What is your message to them as some of the best way to do that and had a fine piece of themselves about it.
What I always tell.
Every -- and women and something I was practice that really helped me stay really grounded and senator as a mom wants to get off to a peaceful start.
To nourish your own staffers in the morning and it is assessed a simple part of your routine but if you.
Don't just jump out of bed to the alarm and raced through your day if you instead get up very slowly have coffee or -- -- -- -- can listen to it and it music -- do some inspirational -- I think that's.
A beautiful way to get started a little.
Whether you wanna do whether it's whether you owner breeder and a normal living spies -- whether -- reading the Bible whatever in my van.
In my opinion you came back we avenue app it's -- -- meditation now and it literally wakes up in the morning with the meditation and it's isn't great this season.
And a net in the yeah.
-- -- -- -- It's an excited and it's called well don't don't sweat meditation app does what meditation up okay available Saturday that way and horrible -- 99 cents today actually.
-- because -- and let these people are.
Generally it's on today who are they overnight -- some time -- and I'm probably.
Everything goes up it's all right I should point out at this point as well by the way as if you -- you probably may have realized when we were caught chatting -- on -- Chris.
Is a very good friend of my fiance is found me and in fact she would Chelsea's first baby -- I sure as -- -- an issue.
Maybe that why she grew to such a beautiful person because she -- you guiding her.
Literally told his mother as one of my very best friends in the entire world and that was just a fantastic mother herself a -- months -- years.
Yes she is mentally she's you'll both wonderful people -- -- -- -- very much looking forward to partying -- you -- -- Yeah also -- funds candidates Christine I'm not only knows how to work very it right very good channels that can body.
-- we -- very -- Obama some of the other than I was pretty much yes we did.
All right moving up and provide drinking -- -- -- we need to wrap this show made the book.
Don't sweat the small stuff among -- there it is on the screen you complied in the iTunes bookstore Amazon.com.
The it is don't sweat meditation out how.
That is now available in the App Store and you can probably also get the booking those quaint old broken multiple -- that still exist.
In some quaint old hands across America by it it'll be good you.