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Hello welcome to help -- on Dr.
Happy relationship takes work we'll know that.
But so does a healthy sex life and when it comes to women sometimes what happens outside the bedroom is the key to putting her in the mood.
Joining me now is author of the big -- sexy sex book sex therapist Ian -- Lot of sex and I know -- I in his eyes sexson one -- -- anyway.
Listen to add and here's a book by the way you you gotta get this was a lot of fun and very very and has a lot of important information.
You -- to people with Lisa arena yes I did actress -- racist -- and even with the star.
So why was it important for you to team with her on -- I -- -- we're introduced through friends and honestly we just started chatting and and and she learned that I was a sex therapist and apparently she had written an earlier -- Caught renovation.
In which she was very honest about her struggles with postpartum depression and sex -- And loss of libido and she said that since she had written that.
That she was constantly being approached by women with questions about their sex lives.
So we -- hit it off and it seemed like.
A natural collaboration and and and I cannot tell -- the reason I was so interested in doing it was because I wanted to do something that was.
Fun and sexy I didn't want it to me to Cleveland Holmgren.
You know -- -- -- you know I see a lot of couples in my own practice especially women -- I delivered babies and gynecology but.
It seems that visit the significant number of couples -- get into this right -- and they can get out of the upcoming resident and why do you think it happens tomorrow.
Its interest in according to some statistics nearly forty million Americans in relationships describe themselves as stacked sex starved.
We did a study.
-- my website good in bed dot com of nearly 5000 people.
On relationship boredom.
Of everyone surveyed said that they were extremely bored in their relationships and another 25% -- somewhat bored.
So I think as a country.
-- sex -- are a big problem and that we aren't.
I think we just expect it should happen.
We don't really focus on creatively expand in our boundaries.
But -- -- from a psychological perspective -- I would argue and you know more than you -- about this you know we we seem to be a nation of depressed people who you know because look at all the medications we -- -- boldest -- -- of this world and is -- everybody is the president pressed.
But I also do think that having a healthy sex life -- is quite normal for humans to.
Absolutely you -- such a good problem that depression.
Especially in this economy for men I've found in my own practice that low libido amongst men.
Is really on the rise and I think you're right that between the anti depressants between the stress that there are a lot of things in inhibiting -- And you're also right that sacks.
Really has positive health impacts there was a study done that shows that if you have a healthy sex life you'll do better work.
But you know I mean it ultimately comes down to confidence and self esteem now some of the tubes that you give on the book you talk about -- play.
And would you say that -- stars before we get into the bedroom.
And yeah tell me a little bit about -- back.
Well I think techniques I gotta get half -- that is especially true women one thing I talk about in the -- -- and that she was a big fan -- was.
Then managed to discover the art of short play OK metaphorical way -- and that women.
So much on their plates and so much on their minds.
That have guys really.
Instead of focused -- now what's happening in the bedroom focused on.
The dishes that are piling up the kids they need movement -- the nets are -- lot of guys out day.
But but it's acts should make it an easier -- off -- -- -- happening at the end but it will be the so what you say it is it -- it and it -- it was -- -- to -- in the -- -- -- -- -- -- think.
Women think differently than men I did well you know there was a study done and you you would appreciate this is as a doctor in which men and women.
Replaced -- not MRI scans.
During the process of arousal and for women.
The closer the more they became aroused the more that parts of their brains that were associated with anxiety.
High emotion those parts of the brain literally had to deactivate and com.
Not so for men men can be stressed out men can.
He's surrounded by 1000 orders a million things and still become aroused not the case for women running the biology is a little bit different.
Now we have to give some tips before we let you go yeah give me some tips.
To get in the mood okay what I would say one tap.
That is especially effective is hugging your spouse.
For more than thirty seconds there is a study out of Harvard that showed that that raises oxy Towson levels in women and as you know -- -- -- delivering babies -- -- as it is a cuddle hormone -- did -- so let's say -- that's for sure so said something as simple as a 32.
-- Can really go a long way.
Okay hunting we got yeah I don't I think Garcia though it have you been covering -- -- fifty shades of -- the erotica and Iran will have that cannot be okay and maybe my wife picked it up and I got that I -- but I would drag it seemed was covered but anyway I think what -- -- Showing is that the brain the female brain is really the biggest sex organ.
And I've talked to a lot of women -- women about this and they say like if a guy I would just -- -- fantasy or say you know what I had a sex -- sex is thought about you.
And then take it.
Yes okay so I would say you know start that fantasy talk you know it's not reading fifty shades of gray for not -- -- Okay all right all right -- like the tips.
But all right so I think that's a good idea -- you don't believe in any herbal.
Whatever I don't I mean none of that stuff is at -- long lasting right but I do believe that lifestyle is incredibly important -- Exercise is sleeping well managing stress all of those can take a huge -- on the beat -- so I don't need.
Believe they need an herbal supplement but I do think you need a healthy lifestyle -- -- and well.
There's an honest I'll say this publicly I think he -- is probably the most knowledgeable.
Sex therapists in America today.
You gotta follow him a hero at Fox News health dot com.
Because he writes a lot of articles.
You have a great web site which is called good in -- dot com and you can't miss that what happened at a -- you gotta pick up the -- which is a great book.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- I'm Dr.