This transcript is automatically generated
Hello welcome to help dog on Dr.
-- We do in their laptop is -- is Smartphones.
And their iPods.
Today's young people are more connected.
Than any other generation however the irony is they have -- in the bill 22 well really connect.
My guess there's as many teens can barely carry on the most basic conversation.
And they often have trouble articulating.
What they want or need joining me now is married -- Because mesquite at all for all of the engaging child -- -- book.
Q I need this book it but I think every Perry would teens -- twins need this book.
But let's talk about this lack of connectivity because I totally agree with you and you know.
This new generation.
OK let's say.
Basically now they communique with all this texting.
I don't have a problem with that if it was the language.
But it is in -- language.
It's just a bunch of things you'll wind is.
That don't make it he says the -- so.
-- isn't something that's -- -- really created a group of you know boys and girls on the future where they're not going to be able to say.
Oh my god it's so nice to see you -- why are you I heard that so and so it is that what's gonna happen.
Well I think so the only way we learn.
Our communication skills is by doing it and were not doing it where they're communicating their more social than they've ever been before.
But they're not necessarily having that face to face conversation in the only way we learned -- -- practicing.
-- I remember years ago when I was growing up in my household the level of Illinois.
My -- there was stalking my -- Lewis talking I was talking my sister was talking.
Other kids were talking you'd come to my house at 5 o'clock in the afternoon science.
My daughter is on the computer my son is that is they don't talk to each other.
And they don't talk to us so what can we do give me some tips of how we can stop this have a launch of lack of communication.
I think we have to force engagement.
And in the book I talk about all these teachable moments things you can do in the course of a regular day to the child says.
-- would get pizza for dinner so that's great why don't you of the pizza.
Because they'll put the onus on you wouldn't say you ordered the pizza say don't let that go on the Internet and ordering that adds up to -- -- -- -- say -- and ordered the guy up or let's save the day.
Got a gift for.
The holidays and they don't really like -- the birthday.
And they want to take it back well they've.
They would want you to go take it back for the -- -- you come to the store and you explain to the clerk why you wanna take this back it's the wrong size or whatever and have them.
Have those conversations.
It's part of just the practice that we don't necessarily get because the parents take a lot of responsibility.
And so we do that but on the other side.
All the texting and everything else we're not getting the practice of having face to face so make them do it in the course of just regular everyday things.
You know it comes to parent and and god knows I'm not the best father in the world but I think that there's a dual problem with that.
I think the they just micromanage.
Too much of the kids' lives every day.
Don't worry Johnny I'll -- -- -- -- that you know my son goes on him -- seventy -- And mom -- -- choose any pads okay but you're all right loudly about -- he goes and the mother goes in shops everything she knows his size.
I'm -- my mother used to drag me to the store -- me and I used to cry I don't wanna go shopping when you but.
You know so but did a good thing that -- seen in Paris did just this -- is as kids when it comes to texting Ivan I don't tax I don't even know how to deal.
And and I Hartley sent any emails but.
But even Paris today they are as -- knowing they come to my house sometimes -- Derek and I see him sitting down -- -- serving them wine.
A so what -- you -- -- didn't but I can't stand it.
I think also parents have to learn that habits have to be broken also in them so that they could be better leaders to their kids it's tech.
Allergy etiquette when do you use your technology and when do you not and we always say that the human in the room is more important than the technology so there's another human in the -- Put the phone down especially if you're eating Nordson -- And so the parent has to do it first so that the child knows that they're supposed to do it second -- can't do it until the child to put it away.
So it's got to be part of just this is how we do things here it's like we sit down and we eat together.
Well let's when we eat together let's put the phones away I don't wanna see it -- what -- fear.
In other words what what what would you think could happen.
To children if they don't know how to connect with each other -- with people in general.
It's not even -- fear it's happening right now.
The kids cannot necessarily communicate.
And -- I always say -- we're talking to kids about this is.
You wanna get what you want we just wanna get what I want to I -- I wanna do this I want to get what I want.
You've got to learn to communicate with other people in order to get what you want a date for the prom.
A job there.
A promotion whatever it might be.
They've got to be able to communicate and if they can't we are raising a generation of kids that are not going to be able to fit into the business world.
And -- may have trouble getting jobs anyways this is what I.
I think I think you hit it right there on the -- I think that if you're not able to communicate you know it's -- -- -- And you know why I sit in many committees with medical students.
But I can't get a medical student to -- tell me.
You know feelings and -- -- small talk and -- you very concerned about also not developing techniques for small talk.
I don't want I mean I I think that he's gonna make though she's gonna get terrible doctor because compassion is all about communicating.
The -- -- look at a whole bunch of test drove floods and be very technical the end of the day.
But if I can sit on hold patient's hand when they're dying when they're having a baby.
Then I'm not a doctor button and that's basically it -- I think that that's true for a lot of professions.
You know you could tell me about the small talk thing what do what do you how do you feel about that.
-- we did a lot of research and asked what are the best practices for small talk and it fills that the inside of the book is all these small talk strategies.
-- comes down to one thing to be curious.
So if you walking into a -- and you wanna make small talk with somebody new gonna actually help your kids with this night.
You know say I really like your -- right or -- start with something where did you get that ask questions as sort of just going in and just.
Sitting there right but we have to help the children and sometimes we have to help them and say.
Graham and just took a trip to Canada ask her about her trip to Canada and so they going to at least they know what to say when they walk into the room.
As opposed to they don't know what to say until they say nothing.
And that we've got to really help them with how to open that conversation so that at least they can start to -- this happened it why did you decide to write this book.
I needed some street cred when I'm doing is I'm just not a know it all mom I've written a bunch of books in business and all of that.
Bit when it comes to parenting strategies I needed to have my daughter's perspective on this I can't have things that are completely.
Unrealistic to have -- they get in my abstract that's right so I had her write it with me and be sort of my advisor on the book but she also wrote two chapters about getting what you want -- you can communicate to get what you want.
Specifically for eighteen or between.
To read -- right now I wrote the book because I wrote this other book called the connectors which is about business relationships and I kept getting asked by.
CEO is -- in important people saying.
I need a book like this for my kids I need to be able to help my kids have the same good communication strategy so when they get into the business world they know what to do.
We're so concentrating on grades let's concentrate on grades.
And communication -- -- balance.
In life that's what we need balance.
Anyway thank you so much thank you for coming to the program the book.
The engaging child he got it it's available everywhere and everywhere that you got -- you gotta buy this -- you got any teenagers -- tween for that matter thank you so much here.
And he had any health topics you let nobody -- me Arafat said doctor may have Fox's dot com.
Thanks for watching for fox knows I'm not --