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Amb. Gregory Slayton on his book "Be a Better Dad Today" and how father failure affects children
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The subject of parenthood right now -- joining us were honored to have the author of a great book called be a better dad today.
It's got ten tools that every father needs and it's also got some interesting statistics.
Again about parenthood and a child outcomes he is ambassador -- -- thank you so much for joining us -- okay.
Pleasure to do anything.
Still one of the things that that you point out is almost 40% of America's children are put at risk severe risk by other failure.
What constitutes -- family.
-- -- -- three different things first of all it's those fathers who were completely absent from the home.
Didn't.
Have anything do with their children.
And also you have what I call.
Ineffective -- -- it -- to someone like my father when I was young he was in the home sometimes sometimes not you couldn't rely on him.
And unfortunately substance suffered from substance abuse also -- it was bad and then you have dads who are physically.
Of abusive that's small category but it must be mentioned because it hasn't very detrimental.
Yeah so let's talk first about father absence and you have some troubling statistics there.
First of volts 44 million children in America that's one out of three and we have that statistic a live in homes -- the biological father.
Is absent 24000001.
Out of three.
What are the consequences of that.
Consequences are devastating for the children if you are raised in -- home where your father is not present.
You have a two to three times.
You are two to three times more likely to suffer from some of the most severe.
Social ills that we face in our country whether it's teen suicide.
Or teen pregnancy out of wedlock or to a severe drug abuse severe mental illness -- Incarceration.
Be put in jail but for crime on an on and on the list is -- goes on forever.
It's very very severe -- Yeah certainly mothers don't wanna hear this they've done than you do the best they can but believe the facts are the facts.
And another -- thing that you mention is that's fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school -- that's according to the US Department of Health and Human Services.
So.
That's the absent fathers there of the two other categories that you mentioned about where the father might be present but not really present correct correct -- about that.
Well that has also devastating because the children never had a chance to rely on dad that is fundamentally on reliable.
And so they -- -- really relying primarily on mom on friends on others.
Here's an interesting statistic.
All girls whose fathers leave them by age of six.
Our twice as likely.
Two to three times depending on the region of the country and some other factors to the three times more likely to be having children out of wedlock themselves by the age of sixty.
And then war.
Fortunate counterparts -- my father had absence is a problem it's why I wrote the book I myself.
Grub without a -- without her real father.
And I guess we're given a 100% of the royalties to fatherhood and family charities simply because it's so important good trio.
And then the last category of abusive dad's I think -- no explanation obviously that is devastating situation and though would you say that that's that's the situation.
Where you know obviously the family better off without a father -- some others think well -- a father figure -- keep them around.
No I make it very clear in the book that marriage -- should be hopefully by God's grace forever.
But in the cases of physical abuse it's a totally different thing got to get help for yourself.
If your mom got a feel for -- kids.
We -- get -- for your husband but that's professional -- -- and that's very very much you and the kids getting away -- that's correct -- after ten tools and every father needs as we approach Father's Day yes I think -- well the tools are the result of much study a father -- -- five different continents around the world you know -- didn't have a real -- going up.
Kind of went to look at fatherhood and learn as much -- I could.
And it was interesting because whether it was here in the United States or Canada France to Japan started to see similarities that effective -- we use now.
He had to strip away the cultural differences which are important.
But this is how the ten tools -- to be.
I think we can all realize that to do anything important whether build a successful.
Network like you guys have more just to build your kids bicycle you need the right -- so that ten tools of fatherhood.
Are designed to work for any dad in any situation in any culture.
And they're they're ranged from the acronym father.
So the first tool is called family first family fun.
And there's a whole chapter on that and every one of the tools.
And at the end of each chapter.
There's a thirty day put it to works because I don't want this just being intellectual -- right I want all of us dads myself very much included.
I need help put these things to work both for my own good and for the betterment of my fan right.
So that's the and yes on the aide tool the second letter in the word fatherhood -- for all in marriage.
That's something for some reason they're not a -- -- About this in the literature I don't understand why other father -- books don't focus on it because the research is abundantly clear.
One of the best things that we want the best gifts we as.
Dads can give to our kids is to love their mom yes well this is not you know this is not rocket right -- the research is very clear.
It makes sense because the two most important people.
In any children's life her mom and dad and for us is -- truly love our wives cherish them.
Provide stability and security and self confidence to the kids that's.
Absolutely and we are modeling a healthy relationship for an unhealthy relationship as the case maybe -- And the children see how you relate to each other and that forms the basis of their own relationships.
So while -- T is next I guess I can tell us how.
You're doing great after all -- -- should warn people got to know well you can get on the website be a better dad today dot com.
So want to mention if you with the US military for all your listeners you can get the book absolutely free just go to the website be a better -- today it's all right there.
And that's simply because we owe so much to our men and women -- you know -- wonderful and there's the website right now but do we have a minute or two for another one or not.
Okay we have we have what ports -- -- good look at T to a loved.
It stands for true moral compass and true humility and those two things go together because.
One of the most important legacies we can give our children.
Is a set of values and ethics that would help guide them through what is a very complex is operating very difficult moral choices.
-- the one we're not even around helpful like they're gone where -- on their off whatever.
But true humility goes hand in hand because we all make mistakes and for me to show my children.
That hi when I make mistake rather than hiding it -- blaming it on somebody else and say guys I'm really -- itself so sorry.
-- ask you to forgive me ask god to forgive me and do what I can't make it right.
That means that little on your little Sally when they break the cookie jar at the blame it on the dog hears something else.
You can stand up and said -- -- -- -- -- sorry and that's real freedom for.
Yet take responsibility isn't -- -- out tomorrow will be Saturday you are right.
The book is called be a better dad today the author Gregory Slaton joining us right here and again he's got it on knocked his website be -- better dad does dot com.
As you've ever had to -- 00 it's all -- he had not that bad today dot com and though the ten tools and the great Father's Day gift thank you so much they just great to see the ticket that break we'll be right back.
