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Time for me to -- -- it's a thyroid thing that's really find that.
My mom demanded I finish everything on my plate that's why that pattern my dead man was he stern that's why I crave attention.
My teachers were awful that's why didn't get great grades.
My coaches were clueless that's why they never let me play.
My friends in high school thought it was a complete -- that's why I never got any dates I argued a lot of my college professors that's why I didn't do that well on their exams.
I argued as well with their assistance that's why didn't do well period.
Amidst a few visa card payments when I was young because they sent the bills to the wrong address that's like got a bit credit rating.
Bill O'Reilly himself got cable operators to not run my prime time show on Fox Business Network my very first week that's why not beating and yet.
My teleprompter operator is awful god awful that's why can't.
Seem to read.
My tech crew here is clueless.
That's my meg graphics don't match.
The speed limits deliberately set too low by my house that's why -- keep getting speeding tickets my kids out of bed at quarter its goal.
That's because my wife and was not as studied it up with a -- to school my daughter likes donuts.
And she's hanging on me in my -- like sweets and they're saying it's because of me I keep getting fatter so.
I hang it on all of them I don't to Wal-Mart -- because give me a break I had an illness.
I wish people wouldn't hitting you because gimme a break I had an illness they can't win antenna but again I can't lose cannot.
Not when I can take up an excuse for everything that ails me and every task that is ever tell me I have a built in excuse.
Just called the mess.
The gift that keeps giving.
The father who I was too tough for mom who was too soft the teachers.
Who were too clueless to the unprecedented mess I went through to create the unprecedented that's I am now.
We live in a weird world my friends.
Where it is much easier to point a finger than simply look in the mirror.
Trouble is the image in the -- days.
And for me the slightly.
Rotund figure staring back at these days to.
Reminding me as if I needed it that I and the some of my mixed up parts I and I alone.
The ultimate product of what my life has produced -- on this gone my dad is gone.
Well those teachers I told you about they're good on the professor's long departed the coach's long retired just me now.
And that DM there are now I guess I should get to work now because I'm running out of time now and I'm running out of excuses now -- worse worst of all I'm running out of the people.
Willing to listen to my excuse it's because that's what happens when you run out of excuses when you run out of people to blame.
You -- have friends.
Who heard it all before.
And don't believe you and look at you and laugh -- you.
We make our own lives.
We can play victim.
We can move on.
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