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Dennis Miller breaks down 'American Idol' chaos

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    Comedian offers his funny take on the judge 'Idol' situation, Condi Rice VP buzz and french food!

  • Duration 6:32
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Thanks -- and Bill O'Reilly in the Miller time segment and I was directed the -- of Southern California joins us now for Santa Barbara.

Seeing that lets you listen to the -- -- in a jar segment you said.

Nothing makes me laugh harder than when you get uncomfortable.

And squeamish about stuff.

When you need heroes that there in the -- -- wife -- just gone and the egg goes up and boom -- out of there you can't even listen got to win conversational long you know what I mean in order Carol let me just let us -- so I get the story straight.

-- kid can get a prophylactic get a vending machine -- grade school now.

But he can't get a juice box or is that not does that that's not what dad -- -- have a soda more than twelve ounces.

Saw a lot of I would say the condoms ribs and ribs cause obesity would that work.

I I -- listen I am so confused about this whole thing which is what you saw in that segment.

Pilots get into -- Condoleezza Rice possibly running with Mitt Romney and -- have floated out there you say.

Along.

Let's led to.

Like Condoleezza Rice I hope she doesn't run you know she's never been a political player.

I wouldn't wish these times on anybody I think we -- -- crappy time she sees -- woman.

She plays piano he looks great she's bright as anybody on the planet she's so sweet.

I wouldn't wish that swamp honor and a million years you know -- stay out of -- your civilian and the brightest civilian on the block.

But you don't have to answer the call you did your part enjoy life it's crap -- there right now.

Who would you like to see.

I think we discuss -- before but I forget who if you were in charge in -- viewer make him a call who would be to VP guy or gal.

Well you know Maine mister Smith -- -- it goes the Washington I think big Chris Christie ought to step up and I that's easy to catch our man.

The act guys got sharp elbows -- Romney and Christie.

Would be like Kevin Costner and Sean Connery in the untouchables.

You know Romney could play the Kevin Costner Elliott -- good guy and that he could play Sean Connery.

And you know Chris could -- as it.

Scalia get rid of the Chicago way you know that sort of thing well -- -- action packed take -- but what if Christie get somebody in a headlock and breaks their jaw which would probably happen on day three of the campaign.

Now wealthy could break Biden's job Biden couldn't talk -- might make a lot more sense to make our.

-- all right so Miller gonna write it down when this is serious Doug -- got to get on -- Jessica's law thing you know he's got to get on but are acts of Christian -- what's -- about Billy glad I don't know whether there I don't vote Cuomo and -- -- -- I'm gonna -- on -- campaign -- -- going on -- But Governor Cuomo and governor -- you gotta pay attention -- he can't have child rape is getting two years in prison.

That's not gonna sit in New York State I live here if I have to go to Albany and camp outside.

I'm gonna do that.

Well listen you know I said you get squeamish about certain things here -- the case you're indefatigable.

Here McGraw the crime dog -- protecting kids now there's a radio tech.

Tell them and no one really -- I -- -- that's fact I was gonna get.

Jessica's law and Jersey and new York and I don't care what the excuses are we gonna go get it.

All right now thought American Idol I -- -- -- -- Jennifer Lopez and a guy from arrow Smith and an -- way they're not they don't wanna do it anymore.

Miller what is happening to American civilization.

They should turn that show over every year I just hope John Roberts doesn't go over there now judge -- he's proven himself and say.

US should be yeah guides Miller lets you writing campaign Miller should be a -- think got Howard Stern on another -- -- day.

Is it Howard -- yes.

You should be on American Idol.

I would.

-- -- American Idol judge and a second.

Bush doesn't need to -- she looks better without it Roberts that I go over when you re do the shelf and you better Robertson Lee.

We do a hybrid where we combine American Idol and Hunger Games in each week the loser has to run for his life that's what would reinvigorate.

I allowing everybody to write in to fox broadcasting and say Miller has got to replace the -- Smith guy.

Do we know where the Aerosmith guys go on -- Aaron Smith guys go I think they live in Boston don't -- on our -- right and let's put it -- -- Aerosmith doesn't -- and you're went so -- I got David that would October saw this guy.

I thought he was a Comanche Indians.

I thought this was a western.

I thought they would have like bring -- back wagon train.

You know what I was there are.

-- crossed paths -- ability.

And he is it is bigger guy buddy yeah there is a good good busting guys but the look bad and yet really I wanna know how much long you we go with the extensions -- ninety -- has all this is my -- -- -- Norma Desmond but.

Now I had no alert I I have to confess I I don't need a lot of French food.

Because I heard if you do then -- compelled to -- -- and I don't like the look.

Rob why is that ASA -- frog -- Now what.

Is that Melissa Bell like it's a ghost is lever and they shoot the goose with enough food and make his liver that -- And can I tell -- hit it tastes great.

I thought I want you know you can't have you can't have while -- in California.

And listen I know when I hit it that my head hits the pillow at night.

I shouldn't be able to sleep.

Because you know adapt the and Donald doctorate of self serve finally get fed grain -- the Kwazulu.

You know we're talking about a world where they're taken kids.

In somebody's.

Countries and doing the most atrocious.

But it's.

I'm sorry blurred vision at some point it taste good shot oh that's all -- -- this state of California is outlawed it.

From -- because the dad -- is miss Ed yeah that's why listen.

You know Jerry Brown signed that they don't lose I don't -- all of gray.

Everybody else in California as well as some shelves but I'm gonna -- as to how much load in -- -- -- -- here.

Because it goose in New York City.

Can't -- sixteen -- so did you know that hey -- do this are outraged.

If you're an adult.

Don't know -- really don't be my goal right now urban goes Brothers -- quite trust me it's worth a lot more effect.

Dennis Miller everybody there is on --