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Happier marriages for divorced people?

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    Daniela Roher shares the secrets of a successful 'second' marriage

  • Duration 5:06
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This transcript is automatically generated

-- write so go to topic to.

I do do very well topic of divorce it with.

We're joined by day Dean Heller the cot there couples at the crossroads Phoenix is not expected -- get out thanks for joining us today.

Think you thinking -- really brightening my pleasure -- we're -- we're talking about divorce -- you how to divorce -- name.

As I know can be very obviously -- they can be messy you sit there -- sort of wonder what happened.

But that you meet somebody new that you don't want to repeat the same things you have a little bit of it guy that gets caught.

To a successful marriage after a divorce let's talk about some of the things that you feel are really really important.

You focus on what you are sort of phase before you decide to get serious -- your -- you're getting serious with somebody he talked about.

What you can do what spouses can do instead of the Levy each other which I mean that's an avid outdoors spots when you defense what you did that's what else -- -- -- Well a pretty -- morning.

When people get remarried -- did everything a lot of anxiety.

Because they feel very chaotic there's marriage in -- -- -- -- -- again I.

And that's what I always say is used it's only fear being -- You know -- -- -- -- -- knowledge you've gone through a divorce you know what words would -- -- work.

You can use these non -- He may repeat it back there you can may well get that congregation you -- -- going to getting I think there is not psychotic I have got.

I don't know what I was going to say that this -- -- -- that the longer you wait.

Between your -- and the next marriage in more.

This stronger you feel and get more chances you happen to make your second marriage work.

-- so that you really have to be -- both members of the party of the new party really have to be 100% committed.

It's doing this because if you have one partner who is being suspected of being reflective but the other partner isn't.

It's just a recipe for disaster so how can I just curious how can you get the other person who may not be on -- to be -- board.

Well -- uniqueness factor communicate very good very very beginning and make it pointed -- communication you -- -- Bellini being a good relationship.

Still it's important you know one of the reasons why you a lot of marriages -- -- -- -- because if you want to avoid areas that they think -- going to create complex.

It's still by avoiding they never address speeches and back not address issues -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- and they get to a point where people.

Can all be together and offer so it's -- it is our.

Telling you Carner we need if she could be honest and open it with everything that happens we need to press asks what's going on.

I often tell people -- To take twenty minutes at the end of each day to -- down and had a conversation.

What happened during the day of work out -- thought he'll have some big concerns.

I'm still market positive things that you want to tell you partner providing feedback so that.

I'm here she would feel good about what what has happened and we'll do it again what's what's -- -- gain an ongoing communication is apps that are on the back.

I -- I and we joke around about this site of ground about this with my bow on it.

Pretty much hourly basis men are from Mars women are from Venus in the way I have the emotional sort of wax.

Is so much different from the way he thinks the way he works and you're trying to bring all that together can be I guess the biggest challenges of all in a relationship.

-- -- what we suggest for people who are who are looking for men and women who are looking for a way.

Just sort of understand each other better with what's that a man can prove -- -- that a woman can improve on just generally big.

Well first -- -- if you through -- you know that this dichotomy.

Women after being honest men -- -- and we do communicate in different ways.

But we had to save me.

Both men and women who wanted to developed good relationships fall back agreement left the garden want to -- needed.

Want to feel correct -- once you -- bonded to the other person.

We all expect that all men and women for all healthy -- on current rating agencies.

So that goes back to -- -- winning ten to go on and on and on because what we -- exactly -- trust I think as we talk right yeah.

Yeah and so we need your the story from the very beginning whereas men process everything in your mind and then they got you'll get results.

And so when we -- -- -- -- get to the point.

And women they know not all you have to listen and I think that's part of the process and then we complain that men don't share that with us they protest thinks differently.

Don't think put -- to be aware of that and accept that men can not act like women and women cannot -- that's right.

I think what you might want folk art both parties understand that I think that her relationship could be a lot easier.

Thank you very much for joining us we really appreciate it is very interesting this discussion there is that but it's right there thanks for joining us thinking.

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