Relationship advice for couples thinking about splitting up
Dr. Dar offers guidance
- Duration 3:01
- Date Oct 3, 2012
Dr. Dar offers guidance
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Hi -- at a quite and this is fox extra.
Relationships are tricky even good ones can't be sunny all the time so we can be difficult to know when to cut your losses.
We're joined now by doctor dar a love -- communication and dating coach who has some advice for couples who may be going through a stormy -- Thank you so much for being with us.
Now what type of advice do you give to couples coming to you you are considering breaking up and -- a long term relationship or even a divorce.
The first thing I asked them as are you 100%.
Sure and certain that you want to split up.
Any answers now the answer is -- and I asked them to make one last ditch effort to work on that relationship and the reason why is because they're gonna create the same issues.
And -- another relationship down the road if they don't solve it right here.
And you say also possibly wonder.
What they could have done differently or maybe even go back to that same relationship.
Exactly and if there's any element of doubt in in -- in a couple's mind then they're gonna be blaming themselves for many years to term.
Those patterns that they were creating in this relationship they'll create and in future relationships and and -- a -- of doubt just isn't healthy anyway you when you're certain.
Then your shore you're secure in your stable and you can move forward.
What kind of problems DC with people who are -- long term relationships about to break up or about to divorce.
The biggest ones are are arguing about everything and finding the really wanting their own way not being able to find a mutual.
Solution for even simple things like going to the grocery store at 10 AM instead of 2 PM it creates a big fight.
That that's common and and the other pattern I'm noticing a lot a lot more of now.
Is women looking for more emotional support for man that that's really -- line.
And is that something that they should seek from their romantic partner or -- they see that in other places of their life.
They need to -- I don't think that in my experience in working with couples and singles that.
Emotional support -- can be satisfied by one person because there's different flavors -- Okay and are there any clear issues that.
That people come to US and say absolutely you -- you ought to get a divorce or you ought to break up this is not gonna get any better.
They're the number one reason why I would I would suggest that is when one -- the 88 or the other party is unwilling to do what it takes unwilling to take the coaching.
Unwilling to work on the exercises.
Not do you know just not not committed not they are not doing doing what it takes.
Not changing how they speak to each other are and it's really -- -- with.
Everything in life right if if you want to lose weight for example there's there's a prescription that you've got to follow.
So same thing in relationships there and there's things that you need to do step by step in if you're just not showing up then and that's clear that you're not committed you don't -- -- be there.
-- -- where can we find out more information about you know you can find out about me doctor dark dot currency semites in.
And -- in a -- and this has been fox extra.