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Hello everybody I'm Uma Pemmaraju and this is fox extract.
Ladies whether you've been married -- Four decade or just starting out at some point you -- sure to need some advice along the way.
Susan Shapiro Barack is the author of the nine days of marriage how to make it break it keep it.
Seasons here and she's gonna shares in the front -- listed thank you so much for joining us women going into marriage for so many different reasons.
And I know that you have outline that in the book what are some of these phases that you're talking about the different phases of marriage.
Well the first days as passionate longing and that's something that we I teal black eyes and young women really believe it.
Even if their parents are divorced than if they know that to force -- that 50% in our country.
Win -- believed in romance.
And -- believe the romance -- the idealists still a Cinderella and the happily ever after they married very glamorous wedding.
So that's another part of what the culture tells us that we have to have this really special day.
But it's a long journey to be married -- along the way.
You end up being -- conforming wife I can't a lot of women said look I thought I've been so strong I marry this man.
Now I don't feel -- independent or I feel like -- -- in hand.
-- that was something I heard a lot of women say.
And then when women have children this is really great change for the marriage lot of the couples are child centric that stays three.
And -- in it together.
And that can make you closer to your husband where their wives to say well I miss the days when we had romance -- -- time alone together.
But a lot of elements of felt your -- that romance is over after that point once they have the kids.
It's really a big shift it's a paradigm shift for the women and a lot of women aren't prepared for what.
Do you feel.
Frustrated you the most as you -- chatting with these women you know here we are in 2012 and women have made some strides wars and we've had heard from so many.
Different people about the secrets of success in marriage -- today and yet the divorce rate continues to remain relatively.
-- -- I think that women hold the bar very high they want this man to be their best friend confidant and lover at once and you know frankly he's just a man.
And just a person and I think there has been to have not moved forward in the way that women have.
As he said so many options for women but -- very next message about the role of wife.
Still traditional and for the women 30% of women in America -- more than their husbands.
They still thought they want her husband.
To be very traditional very conventional about providing.
They say even though -- the higher wager they still believe that the husband is supposed to paid.
His fair share and more and that tells us so much about how we still think husbands are protectors.
What surprised you the most when you were researching this.
How we mean sometimes hang in long after the expiration date on the marriage.
And yet the other surprising part if it is when you get to face six -- train.
You end up feeling very strong about yourself whether you're 455565.
Women can really reinvent themselves at every -- And then -- the end though there are divorces and you do address that that it's all these things to force is part of marriage right it really -- but -- -- remarriage in America is 75% from men and women.
And the women to force say it's widows women have been unhappily married.
Really believe in second chance.
Let's pray tell us a great book 89 phases of marriage is something.
I think a lot of women can learn from and and understand what's going on right now in this.
Current age when -- so much at play and women have so many choices and yet somebody challenges as well it's Chad thank you so much for joining us.
And this is -- barrage is book is called the nine -- of marriage how to make it break it keep it that's -- for fox extra I'm Uma Pemmaraju thanks so much for watching.
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