Inside look at the 'war on men'
Theory on why marriage rates are down
- Duration 7:19
- Date Nov 28, 2012
Theory on why marriage rates are down
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Steve we've been hearing all about the war on women during the presidential campaign but.
Is -- war on men to that's what our next guest sites as a reason that marriage stats could be down.
Then ticked off to a pew research manages 50% of adults were married in 2011.
-- with 72% in 1960.
So why is the so called war on men to -- to blame.
What's asked the woman.
Joining us right now Suzanne banker she is the author of this book how to choose a husband and make peace with marriage.
I thought so that the rise of women in society that ticked off men is that correct.
Hi guys scenario great thanks for having me on.
It's been an interesting ride the last 48 hours I have to say with this article and -- like to begin if I made by saying what this message is not.
This message is not about.
Women or quote unquote returning to there.
Former lives and roles as the 1950s housewives and being submissive or not working outside the home or.
Being docile and obedient that's number one.
This is an issue of gender relations in this country that I think needs to be addressed from a different angle and that's why I wrote.
This particular article it's related to the book that's coming out but it's not -- my book is -- about the war on what is called the war -- -- But you know we've had a lot of books and articles as you know in the last few months that have come out.
Gender relations from the point of of what men need to do.
Differently are better.
We had if you go back a few years ago we had our men necessary by Maureen Dowd we now have the end of men but I have a big focus on single women.
And house seeing video being a single woman is the new and insane rate and until what I'm trying to do is just generate conversation from a different and I and and I totally respect.
And I think it's a really important issue to talk about because let's face it marriage is off.
I don't care -- the woman works or not when the man works or not marriage is a work -- -- process.
But absolutely couldn't be that marriage stats are down because culturally it's more acceptable to have children outside of wedlock.
-- absolutely there is definitely more to the story than just what I have -- capital article you know that article was just.
Articles are meant to be you know provocative it was sort of a -- to present this book and and you can't say a whole lot in articles but.
I'm absolutely there's more the equation we really need to study what is right.
Ending with marriage and this is -- we have to actually yeah we can't assume that everyone read your article essentially the premise is sorry that that women the rise of women has ticked off meant to the point -- -- into marriage and the stats don't lie.
Not about you or anybody else the numbers don't add up for men they're saying I see the rise regardless -- -- my own here.
Right so it's really again it's not all about I'm trying to show a link between.
More about the attitude toward marriage -- that has corresponded with the so called rise of women.
And in terms of where marriages on the radar.
-- you know you have young people today who pride themselves and focusing exclusively on this career that they're gonna happen -- tell -- that Corsica.
Clinton unless I have kids unless you're gonna have kids.
What is wrong with that and and what you saying this article is that women are hungry.
And that men don't like angry women and the reason women are angry.
Is because they're going to work in Macon some out of their lives and my question is not when I put my daughter to bed at night I tell her as my mom told me.
You can be anything you want to be and that's why pay a lot of money to -- to school and that's why I hope she goes on and it's a great college education.
So I'm a little can founded by the message here because I don't think that just because women work outside of the home.
That -- become angry keep.
I don't even that's not what I said in the article.
So let me just go back a little -- you just said what's wrong with focusing on a prayer let me begin by saying if this doesn't apply to you if you're somebody who doesn't want to get married have kids.
Have added by all means there are always exceptions to the role.
But most people do want to have families and what you have today are what we you have to they're women who are specifically.
Trying to do do it the opposite way.
That women used to -- -- go to college to find a husband for example right start settling down right away so they flip that which is absolutely fine.
But the problem is the focus is so.
Has shifted so greatly that there's no thought to marriage and motherhood and how that's gonna fit in around this other.
Core focus and what's happening for a lot of people is.
This attitude toward marriage is one that -- is something that's going to keep you from becoming something and I'm saying that attitude in general is what's harming people because you're carrying it with you.
There was an.
Interview with Sandra block and Barbara Walters a couple years ago and Sandra Bullock said to her.
You know I always thought of marriage as being the end of who I am.
And that really struck me because I see that -- -- no way you can't see that and I don't court young role model that and that's a horrible horrible role model message about -- -- I just wanna say as a working mom that the -- my marriage and my kids in the most important things in my life.
And so I cannot -- shares -- -- -- and not so sure that every woman who.
It's narrator works whoever feels the same -- and also you you or your mom and you are married and the advice to is perhaps.
Did let the -- be the man once in -- let him put out the trash even if you got a new hand already.
You know what yeah that's exactly my point and you did that really -- helped open up a putt.
You don't have to be in charge all the time it's okay to depend on a guy and it's OK to let him meet your prince charming those aren't bad things right and that's gotten lost in this whole.
Female empowerment hear me roar -- you can.
Absolutely work and have that life things don't let it infiltrate into this relationship that's supposed to be -- intimacy and not about power.
Right -- -- -- -- -- -- somebody downstairs moaning about your upstairs don't let her go down first you go down first and you grabbed the guy.
-- Eight states and I didn't.
Is to save the family that she is that -- female boxer beat couldn't be that women.
Are angry in if they are if we accept your premise.
Couldn't be that they're angry because they are actually more and more of them are working and bringing home the bacon and maybe the men.
Aren't helping out as much as they might like them.
What you -- you hear a lot about that in the media but I would have to say the opposite.
You know you -- men today that are completely different from certainly in my father's generation.
There's they've got the snugly as I see -- at target -- Wednesday.
There I mean.
What more at this point can they do they -- exposed to be bringing home the bacon.
And on top of doing -- -- work at home as well and yet they're still not doing enough I mean when does it and it I mean really that's the conversation trying to generate.
And on the emphasize winners -- the top as a man -- a take control it's over.
Hi Suzanne -- takes so -- can -- thank you very much men.
How to choose a husband is in your book in the article is -- certainly gave me getting a lot of people talking thanks a lot.
Thank you for having me and I spent -- the best thing is -- separate -- Connecticut their own minds with a -- rather they agree with me.