Melissa Francis on Overcoming Parental Pressure
Fox Business Network host and author Melissa Francis tells Alan about being raised by a dysfunctional stage mother.
- Duration 10:56
- Date Nov 30, 2012
Fox Business Network host and author Melissa Francis tells Alan about being raised by a dysfunctional stage mother.
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Melissa Francis is a host of money -- Melissa Francis on the Fox Business channel 5 eastern every day and also 12 AM.
And before joining -- he was an -- CNBC.
And play Kasagic Cooper -- a little house -- what a career you'd think -- you harbored a fit into either after -- a -- exhausted and I just add up early either go to Harvard or I've run -- this from Australia right.
And your new book is called diary of a stage mother's daughter.
And it wouldn't -- cute kid on the cover that's going to be -- -- before we get into the of them the the substance of the book because you know I see you.
On the business channel and I'm watching this really happy person smiling all the time having great fun doing your show little to people know.
The the -- story of your life and what you went through to get we -- now what made you decide now to come out with all this you know -- about yourself.
I've -- joy -- I wanted to write for a long time and you know I tried to write a couple different things I think this needed to come out first.
And I have kept my whole life everybody knew what a lot of people knew the public part of my life had seen in little house -- more than hundred commercials I was on some miniseries and movies and really worked my whole entire childhood until I was eighteen and went away to college.
Lot of people knew that they didn't know all the things -- we're going on behind the scenes and it ended truth of that is you know that my career was driven by.
One of those is really intense over the top stage mothers are what we would call -- tiger mom today -- in those days there in Hollywood you -- each -- You never made a choice to go to show business if you were six months old when you -- -- was actually -- your sister had already been discovered her and yeah absolutely I mean.
I was six months old when I was popped in about ten to do Johnson & Johnson baby shampoo commercial.
C -- love did you know I and I think for kids that are successful.
They have loved -- because there's got to cooperate.
I mean you know there's a lot of it is for everything goes on we're getting -- -- to acting hit their marks and learn their lines do the things that I left performing.
For me it was great my sister was less.
Yeah and we won't get into that well that if you read the book you find in the end of the book about what happened to your sister Tiffany.
And and how she.
How her life -- evolves but.
The fact is that your mother was so mean to both of you.
And well and she had Syverson you're three years apart but you would she had very different reactions are handled are processed it very differently.
I mean it was more nuanced -- mean it was she was very controlling.
You know she controlled every portion -- -- in and she used abuse and she used.
You know a lot of things that that parents it was getting a lot of room downstairs in the -- for doing but there work.
But she I mean she used coercion -- there were you know we we say.
And Christmas could be more presence they -- had ever seen in your life or absolutely nothing if -- -- did you work.
Our career that she was taking the money from and how she felt you know I mean I think there were tremendous highs and lows with her and my sister is eventually diagnosed as bipolar my mother.
He knew never submitted to any sort of testing or treatment or therapy of any type that she was very unpredictable I mean it was.
It's the story of children living in a very unpredictable environment that had very high highs and very -- journalists have a diagnosis being mentally -- if you don't know -- that's -- that's a lot of people asked -- since reading the -- -- -- and I never really revealed what was wrong with -- but the book is written from the perspective -- as a child first -- what I -- I mean I'm a reporter yes there is no judgment in this I'm sort of telling you what happened in my life when I -- but also.
She was never willing to go -- and and be treated or diagnosed.
So I I have no idea what what what was really going -- -- do things like threw you out of a car.
Yeah -- down the stairs but this is that the openings seem to the book is something that happens a lot in our house growing up and it was.
You know obviously in retrospect -- controlling -- steering us intimidating us.
We would be driving on should be having a fight with tournaments and you pull over the side of the road to say debt now you've -- -- You know part of this Fiorini -- go find some place else to live.
And you know she I watched it happen my sister so many times and when -- happened to me NASA opening scene in the book I you know made -- different.
-- you relive this whenever you do these interviews and you ready that I can only imagine what.
I do but it's I mean it's such a switch in a way it's healthy you know -- -- a long time I.
Denied these -- to myself and I didn't TARP -- amendment has too -- shocked when he read the -- he didn't get -- your family -- know that -- -- -- never shared this with with anyone and never shared anything that's in the spoke with almost amazing to me you would tell people things like -- your family to California the coming for the holiday has not this year you -- crafted answers right.
-- I had I had perfected the art.
I'm not lying but not answering the question and to me it was part of protecting myself and not -- -- talk about it because it was too emotional.
And I just finally decided I'm and it needs right have little kids and they are asking me questions I have a six -- two year old pupils sons.
And they're asking me questions about my life and it.
I thought I need to be honest with and the ninth in order to do that I need to be OK with it myself and that's what started me mister and we don't.
Melissa Francis host on the Fox Business channel and also the author of this -- really just offense anybody so well written in terms of the the EU had these horrible experience is going to where's your father through all this what what was his role in in the family yeah a dynamic you're talking about.
I mean this is one of the things that a lot of people ask him and there's a bunch different -- since I mean first and foremost a lot of the scenes the book where my mother's most unpredictable.
He's not around because heat we had a very traditional family he owned his own company.
He was a small business owner he worked very hard all day long from early in the morning to late at night.
My sister and I would not appeal to him or asking for help because we always knew that the next day we would be alone with her again -- you -- what was going much angrier that the I don't think so you know I mean I I we didn't talk to him about it and -- know I I think that.
I think they just have very traditional marriage and little loving relationship where they in no effect she was strained it was without -- strain -- it I think that.
You know what was she is very unpredictable and hard to live and I think that my dad and I are very close now we we talk -- email every single day an -- of very many senses we feel like we're veterans of the same war of the seemed.
You know close to him now very klux.
This this fascinated me is how.
That would push comes to shove you are demanding that your mother pay attention to your sister he and there's a scene in the book.
-- really think is the last time the two of you really yet kind of there and you give -- a lot of there there is a moment in it and I -- it's not raining and because so many things happen to get us to the -- anyone passing out there weren't.
-- what I realized was I mean.
I was the winner I was the favorite I was the one that always got straight days that always did what she wanted that always got the parts that was on TV and and my sister was never able to live up to her expectations.
And that sense of failure destroyed her over time.
And there was a day when I stood up finally I mean too late but I finally stood -- my -- said.
You can't have a relationship with me.
If you don't acknowledge and take care of your other child we are of the same value how much strength that it -- for you to come to that -- -- -- give them.
And -- get to that point we have the strength to do that.
He -- I just reached a point where I realized in my own life I needed to have healthy relationships.
With my husband I was can have kids someday aiming at this point we were just newly married.
And I thought.
I'm -- I knew I didn't -- -- beat -- kind of parent going forward and and I thought this cycle this madness that's going on in my house is gonna end with me you know like -- -- -- but the cycle ends here -- says that -- That's all I can do that's all any of us can do and especially this holiday season and people.
Go home to the same dysfunctional relationship families that they grew up -- people reach out mean they're so frustrated by their family.
You can do is say it ends.
With me I'm not only to treat me like -- more on the Katrina you know we can start fresh I'm not saying cut people off -- -- start fresh but say from this day forward.
Here's how we're gonna interact -- like you do I need to.
Be happy and women like you said -- this is over the phone right yeah and she hung up yeah then innocent.
Didn't she -- open appearance of yours was that that's not the book that didn't just happen about two or three weeks ago I took my show.
Money is most of France's 5 PM Fox Business out to California and right we were plugging it just like I -- and we are saying we're going to be in California and she showed up.
And she was hysterical.
It was five minutes of -- and -- her and she came in and she grabbed me you know -- Roughly and she was hysterical and I I mean.
I froze but I was scared you know I was -- back to being that kid that she grabs so many times and.
You know she was gone as quickly as she arrives you know -- -- dialogue between the period you know she said.
You know that that she loved my sister and and you know what I what I say is not -- is not how she felt you know because I I sort of feel.
Lets you get to the -- but can you see everything that -- my conclusion is that.
She didn't want that's you know -- to treat I have two children my own and I would.
Die for them happily now you know I would give them an organ out of my body and would be my pleasure my left for -- and it's so great parents know when I'm -- -- So when you see the way that she behaved as it as a parent now I know that she.
Didn't -- says he just walked away from that how long we used to together in a minute I mean it was -- -- -- Managing just laughed and then I had to go on and do the show and -- -- you.
-- managed to do that.
-- what was so shocking that it he knew you just keep going it's liking me.
Bizarre thing that how the -- -- scary thing that happens you just.
Mean for us we know there's live television there's only one host of that show and there was no one else to do it we're on location and there was no -- grab and do instead and I just kind of went on and then I had it my producer.
You know Joseph fringe is a good friend in my we've been friends for more than ten years she knows everything she -- She was there next to me and she just said are you okay -- -- keep going and instruments you know let's go and she.
I knew she was sort of looking out for me to make sure I was OK and we went ahead to the -- them aside.
The we -- -- -- -- did the show and I was at that show business and it makes us afraid how devastated mother's daughter Melissa Francis you see here at 5 o'clock eastern on the Fox Business channel thank you very much -- --