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Fox lifestyle folks I love that we get to tell a little bit of the lighter news although this one if you've ever been through a divorce.
It's probably serious topic but -- can learn something and find love better the next time.
Right now joining me is doctor Terry who -- -- who is the author of finding love again.
Folks apparently there's only six simple steps to finding love again and new and happy relationship.
Available on Twitter doctor Terry -- I love doctor okay we all need love in our lives our great to see today congratulations on the book.
How did you narrow the steps down to six.
Well I've been following the same couples now for over 26.
Years and when individuals or couples got -- -- I continue to follow.
The divorced individuals who we think interviewing -- divorce singles.
For over 26 years.
And they tell us what works and what doesn't and then the lessons they learned after divorce -- say in law's play a huge draw I would have thought money would be at the top of the list.
What you know the conflict over money is important and it does present at -- conflict and tension in the relationship but -- -- look at -- analyze.
That is significantly related to whether or not people staying together or divorce and the findings differ.
By whether or not your highest income -- -- -- What we found is that when husbands are close to bear in line.
That relationship where that marriage is significantly more likely -- last overturning in fact 20%.
That marriage -- at killing more likely significantly more likely to divorce over time.
The finances are tough especially in the economic times we live in right now children can cost a fortune.
Losing a job can really hurt -- Koppel what are your suggestions for getting over some of those hurdles that every couple faces.
-- every couple does faith conflict contention -- money you are absolutely right.
But it's really important for the couple to talk regularly.
About their money issues.
Each spouse should sit down and think about what is my approach for me some money what did I learn as a -- what can my parents do with money.
And then sit down with their spouse and talk about that approach and that meaning can money.
What happens odd thing is that couples don't talk about money -- and they only talk about it during tax season or when there are bills are huge gap.
So we talk about it more we set some ground rules we money and have some idea is about spending and saving.
And we talked to one another when there are big purchases.
Then we're gonna have -- last conflict contention about money over time.
And in terms of what.
In laws because you do see that as a big issue can do to support couples.
How many times have we heard about especially a mother of -- -- Who doesn't think the girl is good enough or even.
Father -- a daughter who feels she's marrying beneath what she deserves.
How -- they keep their mouth shut.
Not get involved and let a couple do their thing.
Even if they make a mistake they make their own mistakes.
It's a really good question I think if -- -- parent.
You don't want to give advice and last year -- and that's the really important message here.
So that don't talk to your your son or daughter and his or her spouse.
About parenting issues about their marriage about work situation and laugh your -- And can make sure that your own thing and flexible they're always going to be differences between children adult children and their parents.
They need not do it the way that you do it are you want them to do -- But trying not to judge or -- -- Have expectations.
That bullying me -- and -- and is set.
Need to find out what's good and -- good for themselves.
And you say -- particularly interested in step four.
You say we're knew the real you.
Is that for the person looking for love or those around them.
That's for the person looking for love oftentimes when you're in a relationship.
We don't -- compromising we.
Do things and we become things that were really not ourselves.
So we want you get divorced or separated -- experience a long term break up.
What you wanna do -- get back and figure out who -- my.
-- -- my key -- what are my key life value and what's important to me.
Because when you're out -- digging and looking for someone special you really want someone -- similar to you.
And those underlying valleys and attitudes are different your interest can be different.
Your hobbies can be different but you want similarity in those underlying values and if you don't know what's important to you.
I think you can't pick someone who similar team in those key life value of someone -- -- Your website so folks can go on and get more information I have more questions but -- doctor Terry -- -- cocked her dot com.
They can check it out they can certainly get the book which is just out.
Which is the finding love again six simple steps to a new and happy relationship who wouldn't want that you say take the risk.
That sounds frightening to folks sometimes.
No risk actually is if you're you're not a relationship -- He -- shake things up a little bit in your married during -- long term relationship.
Sometimes we just do the same old same -- and things get boring and what I found in my long term study -- -- -- Ford and -- -- happiness.
So do you -- things with your spouse or partner.
Had some novelty some -- history.
That -- shake things up and and it's taking a risk if you don't know what's gonna happen.
If you're divorced or separated.
-- a rethinking how -- some -- new.
Yes it is challenging if -- But he has picked up a long term relationship for a romantic relationship are sell -- -- -- Well let's once again show the website because this time we -- the holidays -- really tough for folks who aren't in a relationship.
Maybe it's time you pick up the book -- read the web site and -- a few new tricks for the new year to find your new love.
Again the website doctor Terry the -- doctor dot com by the way doctor Terry are you in a relationship.
I hammer I've been happily married for twenty years from now thanks for asking well no I mean I want to know if you practice what you preach.
Great congratulate -- GO.
Thanks much for having me it's my pleasure we'll take a quick break we'll be right back -- to make your weekend.
And even best ever stay with us.
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