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Let's call a truce in the war on men

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    Suzanne Venker responds to backlash over her take on the role of women

  • Duration 5:15
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This transcript is automatically generated

Would've -- to hear from you.

Our next guest wrote a piece on foxnews.com.

Called the war on men it's gotten.

Quite a bit of attention and so she's out with part two.

Let's say hello this is -- -- she's the author of the book called how to choose a husband and make peace with marriage Suzanne nice to talk to you there's the book.

Looking good at and let's talk about -- so your first piece let's just go back and catch people up.

For folks who might not have read your original piece what was your sort of overriding thesis there.

So for the first peace the overriding message was just.

Sort of letting people know that there are actually men out there who are specifically rejecting marriage or who are at least very wary of the hole.

The whole prospect of getting married largely because of what's going on with gender relations in this country and the whole battle of the sexes.

And so that's sort of an ongoing discussion we've had of course for years in the media but one of the things we don't do.

Is bring Manny on that conversation so what I was trying to do with that piece is today is that is just that.

And your and your bigger your point was that men are sort of scared away.

From marrying or getting involved in a relationship with a woman who is not playing the sort of a traditional role.

Not quite so let me clarify that I what I was getting at there was that we have something going on.

With men and women right now where women have been groomed to be successful.

And professional outside the home okay which is all fine.

But that they've in the process lost.

Touch with if -- well they're more feminine side and the things that make relationships work.

-- very different of course -- the things that make you successful in the workplace so what I was trying to do was.

Point out that there's a yin and Yang to men and women -- that masculinity and femininity are supposed to work in tandem.

And I think we've gotten away from that because women pride themselves on being really self sufficient which is great to be self sufficient.

But it's also great to be a lot and it's also great to surrender to.

On being vulnerable and allowing ourselves to love someone else and -- loved and I think we've gotten away from that.

So the reaction to your original piece.

Was pretty strong you got emails from people from women in particular who were upset that you would suggest that women.

Are playing any kind of a role.

At all in the decline of of marriage in the battle of the sexes.

Some of the emails were down right.

Violent in the -- people were suggesting that you should do as a result of putting your thoughts down on paper were you surprised by that by the.

The reaction.

You know I wasn't surprised by the reaction because I have definitely written provocative -- before and and I'm kind of used to this this particular one was pretty.

Big but what people aren't seeing actually which is interesting is the wonderfully.

Positive.

-- accent that I have.

Had that is not clear on line and is not even necessary -- on television.

But the women in the media even and -- the emails I've gotten in addition to those nasty emails.

Are so appreciative and thankful and excited to get this conversation started.

That is really long overdue you know it's time to bring men in honest discussion about gender relations instead of pointing fingers all the time -- I'm just asking us to look at this from a new angle at all.

So part two which is on foxnews.com right now is basically calling for a truce put your sword down you say.

Just -- down yet it's okay to not be in charge all the time and I think again that's something that women they're not comfortable.

Doing because they think it makes them less -- that if they put that sword down their guard down if you will and are constantly.

As -- me if they're not self sufficient right at all times that they are going to succumb to this former.

1950s housewife role which is just such a caricature anyway and I really take issue with the fact.

That all women -- 1950s were miserable submissive housewives I just think that premises is wrong.

But there's so much focus on becoming self sufficient that we don't.

Know how to be vulnerable and change -- switch gears if you will when we go into the relationship.

Aspect of our lives as opposed to the work.

A friend and I had a great comment where she said.

I'm okay by myself I can do it on my -- But that doesn't mean I want to -- doesn't -- but doesn't mean I.

I am happy.

Being self sufficient doing it on my own but I'm actually better.

If I'm doing it with you or -- letting you in on that so yeah you can be on your own and do it but when it comes to love and trying to have a relationship.

That's really not how.

Works Suzanne -- is the author of a book called how to choose a husband and and make peace with marriage her latest piece which is.

Sort of a response to her original piece the war on men is on foxnews.com.

Right now I would urge you to check it out Suzanne.

Nice to talk to you thanks very much for joining us thanks for having me.

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