How do you cope with tragedy?
What happens now for families affected?
- Duration 8:07
- Date Dec 14, 2012
What happens now for families affected?
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Mean we get to the man exam when we can't seven gunshots.
And then the cat and we are now and they Jimmy Key chains Jack -- Stay against me -- -- everybody's tank had an entertainer and -- -- -- and hey Aaron guests like actually.
-- -- it but and we had -- to that closets and Aaron.
We gain a lot of noise and shots and then in the -- -- but then appeasement yet just can't -- -- -- -- -- and good night I -- -- little girl's frightening account -- what happened inside sandy hook elementary school and now is the entire country mourns this unimaginable tragedy.
We're reminded that this is not the first school shooting that this nation has had to deal with joining me now to give us some.
Very painful insight into how parents of -- sandy hook elementary school students.
Are coping Darrell Scott his daughter Rachel was killed in the Columbine.
High school -- back in 1999.
-- you know as a parent.
I all I could think of today.
Is these parents -- buying Christmas gifts.
Kids sixty at this age excited about Santa Claus Christmas is coming.
Not only -- -- planning a funeral no Christmas no more birthdays.
I I don't how do you recover you've been through this.
Well you know there's nothing you can tell -- parent -- just lost a child that they need their friends and family.
But in our case we we made some choices when we made the choice.
Do not be angry and bitter but to celebrate Rachel's life and as a result of that.
Today we have the largest school assembly in training programs in America.
We reach three million students a year with Rachel's challenge.
And we train over 300000 students a year.
And we have seen seven school shootings prevented that we know of we've seen over 500 suicides in the last few years prevented.
And I think a lot of the answers are long term they're not just a knee jerk reaction on gun control are more laws -- more -- like regulations.
But we've got to be a kinder nation we have got to take time to listen to one another to love one another.
To be role models to these kids.
It sounds to me like you getting active and involved and taking positive steps to help people.
Almost -- in your healing is that my interpreting that right.
It really has my my son Craig was in the library that day and he came within a split second being killed I would've lost two children.
And and so my heart really goes out to parents to even the parents who didn't lose their children that are gonna have to deal with the trauma.
That their child will go through for the next few years to counseling.
They need a lot of love and a lot of attention.
And we -- need our hearts and prayers just go out all these wonderful people that have lost their children and I when did you Feeley started to recover because.
I I would imagine it takes.
A long time to -- this this pain.
Just maybe if the if there's a parent or family member that's watching.
How long did it take you to really turn the corner maybe a little bit.
Well honestly you never you never totally healed there's always a a hole in your heart when you lose a child -- always we have.
A -- and I have eight children and ten grandchildren but no matter how large -- family gets there's always a missing.
Missing get out there with Rachel.
And it does you know the first you go through the stages of shock disbelief.
Then you go through anger you go through a whole gamut of emotions.
But the of the initial staying eventually.
In the first two or three years begins to Wear off.
You never lose it completely.
But my advice two parents after two or three years -- to really.
Celebrate their lives to focus on that to not direct their anger toward the shooter.
To even practice and in -- and this is not a time for those parents to hear this.
But we chose to forgive him some people can't do that.
But forgiveness and focusing on the positive in your child's life really goes a long way to helping.
-- -- thanks so much for being with us still very sorry -- -- -- -- daughter and thanks for sharing your experience and maybe help more people -- you know.
For -- thank you -- are also reports are emerging that the shooter may have been suffering from a personality disorder joining me now as we gather more information about the gunman's mental condition doctors keep tableau.
And Mark Siegel both part of our fox medical team.
Now we have heard reports personality disorder I heard the term autism today Asperger's syndrome.
Obviously this kid.
At this age shooting his mother going -- to shoot with the band and all these kids something's wrong.
Would any of those conditions tell you that that could happen.
Well one thing's for sure -- on his out of touch with the reality at the time this occurs if he had something called Asperger's.
He may have had.
Ongoing meltdowns which are associated with.
Violent behavior that's possible it's possible that he was on medication that the medication wasn't working that he didn't have empathy that he wasn't relating well to others that he had social problems.
But that still doesn't explain everything and it's also possible given the age of that is the age of twenty.
-- became psychotic that he lost touch of reality completely and that he had some kind of delusional system going on that led to this heinous crime.
Is it always a medical conditions I mean.
And Amanda mass in this is a question.
If somebody is disconnected from reality no sympathy no empathy no conscience no consciousness no soul.
There is human evil.
I mean somebody can kill innocent children like this seems to me that -- there is that he is human evil.
You know your short I don't know what doctor rebels opinion is on this -- we're gonna -- -- a second but I personally.
Don't let people off the hook and say this is a mental health condition they're not evil I think the two can coexist I think there is an issue of -- here as well.
When you think doctor -- of.
-- is what I think I think that the final common denominator here is lack of empathy you can't walk up to one child after another and kill that child and see each child fall to the ground or slump over in his or her seat.
While maintaining any empathy so.
Why can you lose human empathy you could be delusional schizophrenic perhaps and be working on a delusional system.
I don't know that to be vacation every could be where you think if I do this -- save the whole world that's one level of things.
Secondly shore personality disorders can do this and there are other conditions they can do this like drug abuse combined -- with.
Either a mood disorder or person I disorder or all three.
But listen is it a mental illness of course it is because that lack of empathy doesn't come from nowhere.
And -- in twenty years Sean I've never found anybody who does anything like this.
Who hasn't been through hell him or herself in a way that creates mental illness and not -- that last question and partly life.
This is important I think because.
First responders any counseling obviously the parents any parent as a parent I would say they're gonna need counseling.
Students are going to be traumatize.
Post traumatic stress on the -- may be different.
Although the same.
As our troops go through what would you expect is gonna happen for those three groups of people.
-- the veterans administration has looked at this very question and 77%.
Of the kids that are in that school up to 600 kids who weren't god thank god weren't killed.
Are gonna have posttraumatic stress disorder where they're working it out in their play where they're aggressive.
Where they're said within not feeling well where they're where they need help and where they're not sleeping well whether anxious in the prone to depression this can last for months and months if not years after that.
Cognitive therapy helps but good to see both thank you -- -- thanking doctor Siegel here.