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How do parents address Conn. shooting with their kids?

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    Dr. Marc Siegel weighs in

  • Duration 4:59
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Doctor Mark Siegel is here he's what he's part of our medical -- her Fox News and there's something in us that makes us need to hear the stories right -- it's terrible it's hard you know I'm tearing up listening to -- -- and I'm sure a lot of our viewers are too.

But you want people to know that that's not -- -- we can't do too much of that we can mean it's still very early.

But we can't do too much of that why.

-- we have deep emotional centers and our brain.

That we get from -- are -- for birds and we have to watch what emotions go through that with what -- inevitably if we watch TV we're gonna get certain emotions now we heard Trace Gallagher give this amazing report.

About the courage of the principal and teacher that gives us courage to hear that.

And now we hear this parent that lost a child and you and are sitting here thinking we have young children and that's the most important thing in our lives.

We need empathy for that mother we don't -- fear we need and the thing we need to care about her and have compassion for her and that's what we need to teach our children.

We need to teach them courage.

Empathy caring not fear because statistically the chances of that happening thank god to one of our children is extremely low.

Even if you have to remember -- even in the wake of this -- the hounds of this happening to you -- and we -- in intestinal.

At that and.

Do statistics homicides to school age children only a -- around schools less than 1% of the time.

But here's another thing.

Elizabeth Phelps a researcher at NYU put people in front of a video camera and measured MRIs of the brain and she found.

That if you're watching a video of someone being hurt like -- you have the same reaction in your brain as if it were happening to you.

That's why we have to limit the amount of contact that are children have with these images.

And that and that we have with these images potentially mean you know if if you is the -- her -- as the mom come home with all of this.

On us I mean you know.

Kids are perceptive they feel it -- you know they -- you say sort of like you moms and a bad mood everybody's in a bad mood in so you have to watch that.

So true if we worry they worry if where com.

There come if we come home talking about that principle they're gonna understand courage and you know we -- we of course have to feel.

For the victims and that and then there's the issue of the survivors.

There's going to be a very high incidence of posttraumatic stress.

About that I mean they're gonna have pushing towards -- stress.

Is the nation gonna have a little posttraumatic stress.

We have more control over that than those children do those children will have it.

They will feel lonely they will -- said they will -- angry they won't be themselves for a long time.

Survivors of Columbine have said they're never themselves they still have flashbacks they still can't see violent images but the nation can control what we have.

Because it is not our children.

-- we can feel compassion and caring but it is not our children as long as it is not.

We can limit the amount of posttraumatic stress we have there's a phenomenon called by carriers traumatic stress disorder we can get it from watching too much of this -- -- is -- howling in you know the wake of some -- for people to remember here we are in the Christmas season Honecker as well.

The influx of positive energy you know positive stories of things that just make you feel good you know as the Christmas season.

You know my husband and I watched a white Christmas over the weekend just -- you know it's just something like it makes Islamic -- feel good how important is that right now.

Huge and I think the caring that has come out of this already the pastor.

Up there and the rabbi in the way they're bringing people together all the love that's come -- outpouring of caring concern from the US the president of the United States reaction to this.

All of the reactions on a positive note of compassion and caring coming into the Christmas season Chanukah season that's -- we need.

You know it's like you can't skip right past the -- degree he can't do that because then nothing will change that we -- look at anything we -- take a close look at how this happened but then you have to.

You have to move on from it.

Well -- I wanna say this is a series of terrible personal tragedies is not a national tragedy is a personal tragedy mother -- attack.

I don't know about that -- to national tragedy in the sense that we're mourning for them.

Well in in a sense that it just seems like the world got a little darker on Friday.

I mean I know I know what you're saying it didn't happen to -- weekend whose children thank god but the fact that there is such.

So are you learning -- wanna say evil I don't know whether this this young man was people are just so disturbed.

That he.

Did an evil thing and you know went to an evil place -- -- for that this psychiatric as a psychiatrist to figure out but what.

I mean this it just seems that we lost a little bit of ourselves on Friday.

A red line was cross -- -- said that just we can think could be could be crossed.

-- -- -- in terms of mental health for second there's.

There are many many people out there was this kind of psychiatric disturbance that we don't have a lot of the facts -- -- schizophrenia or delusional system whatever he had it was a pretty bad mental illness it looks like.

And there are plenty of people out there with those conditions that are not committing crimes like -- most of most of -- -- -- more about that just about doctor -- thanks for being here thank you.

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