How do we talk to our kids about Newtown shooting?
Focus group of parents weigh in
- Duration 11:12
- Date Dec 21, 2012
Focus group of parents weigh in
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-- the bells -- 26 times this morning in Newtown Connecticut and countless other communities across the United States.
Noting each of the people killed at a Connecticut elementary school exactly one week ago.
In this morning's Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan tackled the question of how parents and children.
Go forward from here.
She writes about how kids are most often afraid of imaginary monsters like the ones that supposedly live under their beds.
She shares how a friend just told her that quote.
What's so terrible for the little kids -- hear about new town is that the dream monster.
Is now real.
Joined now by a group of parents some of whom you will now is political analysts or from other Fox News segments but all of whom have young children.
In a world where now we realize the monster is real.
Thank you all so much for being here it's such a sad day for.
Somebody in the country and I know our our viewers are feeling it because we -- together a week -- exactly right now as we learned.
That unit was in fact -- are twenty children who had been killed.
And I feel and I -- you all feel it in the question is now.
A weak leader in on -- go forward basis as parents as human beings.
How we supposed to process that's how we supposed to.
Help our children process this.
And how do we get our kids to a place where they can go to school.
And feel safe and not worry about the real monster chart doctor Jeffrey they're -- -- -- -- I would say first and foremost we need to take out time in processing.
What's going on asked parents.
Even his children because we still don't know what really happened what the motivations were what the role of mental illness was.
Communists that there are mad men out there now we know that there is a red line that they will cross that.
Those mad -- happened to be our children to.
And in no way am I making excuses for the shooter but we have to address.
Why these things continue to happen and why -- -- mental health wide the mental health experience is so lacking.
For these young men who are at the -- -- an artist it can be an Arctic to it to find something to do to find something to change I would say the most important thing in and I know everyone will jump -- and the most important thing -- we need to continue to have the conversations.
The discussions and let our children know that we are there.
For them we will try to keep them safe that there are no guarantees.
I mean and as moms and dads straitjacket -- -- -- your your doctors successful that we had to -- -- as a mob you know how do you.
How do you get through this with your kids and come for yourself that they can go to school they're gonna come home a life.
Set I went through this also with 9/11 with my children who are very much younger at that time.
Part of -- is that you the first.
Happen that we basically live in a safe world and you need to reassure your children and that and yourself and myself and that's probably more myself than anyone else.
Listening I mean that's been my job this week is listening to my kids I'm not a believer been hearing some reports from some parents and my practice where.
Little four year old it's been brought up in school I don't think that's appropriate bomb I think there are ages that you can -- your children.
But at the same time they're bringing it up where are that you need to listen and let them process at their own right my two boys are very different.
What if you know he's the if he's fine with all this the other one -- is still struggling and I understand hey you you know he didn't generate.
-- against you just gave birth to a baby this year.
He was a new mother and I actually -- of -- -- -- you know it.
Have you worry about what what world are they about to be brought up in what other red lines are going to be -- -- they reach majority.
Sounds selfish and then I'm sorry from the parents -- have kids that understand what's going on -- my first reaction I was here last Friday when this happened was.
Thank god thank up -- -- too young to understand what's going on.
Thank god and I have to explain this to him and hopefully.
-- growth -- a world where we do something to make it a little safer for him but much like 9/11.
Things I see and hopefully we'll have to change and the school that he will be attending been six years when he starts going to school.
He's probably going to look very differently from school that your kids have -- tendon today -- last week.
I can only tell you that's OK you know community I had heard about -- the possibility that more more parents are gonna choose to home school their children now.
Out of fear.
With -- your thoughts on that.
I don't think that.
It is you might see that for a little bit but I don't think that's something that parents are going to be doing for the long run you're gonna keep your kids today saying that regular school kids in regular school we're gonna keeping them safe where they're supposed today.
And the schools are now gonna make regulations.
And their gonna start to put in some practical.
Lots and lots are things that they really need to do -- -- to prevent this from happening we we had the NRA cannot today called her un arms police officer in every school and I don't wanna make as a candidate is regarded on them but but.
Would that make you feel better with that -- you bring you some comfort TJ McCormick.
That makes sense to me and a very literal level we -- we put armed guards did to detect banks we have armed guards at airports it.
That is jarring all of us and keeping a lot of us up at night is is what happened to these little babies these -- If we're gonna protect -- the same -- be protects money.
Well I'm what are we going to protect and so on a very literal level -- yeah it makes sense to many who does it make sense.
-- I don't -- as their places of learning where children also -- and the safety should have -- life.
Place of learning and and it needs to be a safe place and not feel that way I don't be cleaning -- -- this week we did a story on how.
Sales of bulletproof backpacks are their rhetoric yeah and I mean I'm I'm thinking to myself and talk to viewers about this how do you explain your child.
-- This is for your books and also to save your life if it's a shooter comes in your elementary school and starts trying to murder you Tony -- Meg and this is an incredible that were even at this point our society where you have to consider something like this you know.
As a parent that day and 9:30 in the morning that Friday I was watching my son's Christmas pageant.
-- sanctuary watching -- five real should be doing.
Which is to enjoy the holiday season and celebrated.
And to know that at that exact same time this massacre was happening and -- so many levels affects us as parents and I almost hate to say almost more than any other tragedy -- I see this kind of.
Collective sense that something has to be done and and something does have to be done.
And it can't just be on one issue everything is on the table -- things -- -- -- Still wake up people and those who are on the right do you feel like okay let's talk about guns and people -- on the -- you feel like let's talk about.
Buzz lower standards for institutionalizing the mentally ill and so what's happening as I'm.
Yet -- -- -- for par I would.
Have a problem and I probably feel better knowing that there was somebody armed.
At the school I have a nine year old daughter and a seven year old son and a three year old son and one thing that gives me concern and pause is.
Is active with regard to the three year old who's in preschool right now.
Is it really is easy to get into that school I hate to say it's a lot and especially obviously in any shadows waiting -- its updated the status.
Why I'm not against somebody.
Being there just in case although what I'm trying to do like -- you know the doctor said you know you try and -- garner information what do my kids now but I don't want them to think.
You know just because one monsters out there yeah.
Everybody's a master -- He's not I can't imagine how do you stop that you know because kids you that we all kids once an addition having kids.
Don't worry about the monster under the -- and now they've seen evil and a monster in real life.
They have to.
At what I've done with my son is try to listen to what he is worried about because what I found is some of the concerns and fears and I have.
Are necessarily the same as what he has direct -- -- -- from the viewpoint of an eleven year old.
And he's you know he's had a he's a child has had some challenges he's you know had special services at school and and he doesn't necessarily react the same -- that he's very frightened.
And have to listen to and had to make him feel that he is safe that's one of the things said that that I wish would be discussed -- this processes.
The responsibility of the schools to try to help these children especially we have high functioning children to school -- the best equipped to see a problem to have.
For fast you're kind of the shooter himself right now to -- and -- -- -- and just did everything possible that that -- and that principle of the -- -- -- on Fox -- talking about -- They made sure this kid wasn't bullied and made sure that you didn't get targeted -- that's how we -- after column and that's where we went like what they've -- network than that but the reality is so much more to worry about.
He -- it's not just black and white you can't just look at a kid and say okay this is a troubled Katie spends time by himself.
Within a flag this kid you know because a lot of these issues they fly under the radar.
His mother know become -- mother and that was good troubled son -- time.
We ultimate is no question that she was paid educated but there's a question about whether she needed to do more -- want to ask you Doug burns because.
Out of the darkness comes some light yes that is you know.
One of the V we were talking about these these teachers these these six women men who literally shielded these babies everybody here rancor you answer that is not not -- -- types and -- cops come into the building.
And did you get about -- of the union stuff whenever.
They came ran toward the danger and -- little -- threw themselves are these little babies and and one of the viewers at all what adult wouldn't do it.
Some -- those will be too scared you can't say yeah.
You never know what you're gonna do -- that but the point is we've seen such lightness and you have to bring that to your child as well know what we've seen and the world that -- the community the world the nation rallying around those.
-- more -- and those and their families that of the heroes and.
Kennedy making a great point which I totally agree with which is that after the American after nine elevenths you know you do see people rallying in coming together.
And trying to cobble together some type of you know positive feeling about it but I like we said earlier in terms and what Peggy Noonan right I mean it's like the shattering of the innocence of youth and -- and that's the problem.
And you know once you crossed that rubicon that's why I think it's a fair discussion to say should we make a school like a court and then when -- -- -- -- -- -- here you know.
I don't know the answer that I.
No I will say -- after column that ever come by and so well we had the same kind of discussions and then people moved on and he had shootings and subsequent column by because -- last weekend people -- done.
And as a mother that's why I said earlier right I hope this will be an analyst -- the forest for something -- we have.
Hoping you don't you don't really you know who has a lot of responsibility in doing that is the media.
That's because the media chooses what stays in the news and what does save in -- we if we don't say on -- that is gonna -- pirates.
Lisa and I had an.
I don't you know what though we can't let this take away our children's innocence and I think we could be Smart about it we will be -- -- how we discuss it but we owe it to them.
To try to give them the child will deserve and I.
-- -- reach out.
We stand together and and define evil and that's what we do -- and that's what.
I got it up and thank you -- so much and Merry Christmas on it.
Coming up --