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Helping with hardships

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    What do you say to someone facing tragedy?

  • Duration 5:55
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Thanks Eric you know in the wake of a tragedy people Lofton one to lend a helping hand.

But aren't sure the right way to go about doing -- our next guest says she knows firsthand what works.

And what doesn't when it comes to being the shoulder you can lean on.

And she has coined the method terminal etiquette.

Joining us now is Louise -- sought to -- some -- -- -- -- from your personal perspectives on this before we do that beep -- before we get your personal aspect.

You know we've all been gripped with this tragedy unfolded in new town.

With the sandy hook school shooting.

Had a script all of us when we see mass shootings of tragedies like this and we know that parents are suffering more or child is is suffering.

Halloween.

Best who put that helping hand -- -- proper way to do it.

Well I'm from my -- from our personal experience and our family.

But a very nice thing to do is to be proactive in helping.

A lot of people and obviously they mean well by saying that we know if there's something I can do it let me know if there's something you need.

That almost puts the onus back on the person who lives.

Are any suffering.

-- to be proactive in helping people come up and coming up with a plan whether it's making dinner on a weekly basis or.

Taking their kids activities whatever they may need and sort of thinking.

It in their -- what they need and actually.

But -- -- I need and then trying to meet that need but.

But what sometimes -- when a person's going through this those persons observing.

An individual what friend or relative is who's going through a tragic sort of circumstances.

They don't always know how to go out and -- and take responsibility for that person's needs they feel like -- intruding right.

Yes and it is that a wise step off and see if what you're planning is something the family needs or would like I'm ahead of time -- can always think.

You -- on the day to day basis if you have children.

And the amount of activities that your kids are involved in north he manages to even going to -- gracious or some but the simple gesture is dropping -- groceries or -- actually.

And as a friend of mine the times just dropped off gift cards to the local grocery store for us and that was not so powerful.

And you know after the tragedy happened -- and and people have moved on sometimes you really need to give them.

The help -- that's the most important time after the tragic.

And I've been that is chase there's an experience we felt that as well the and there's a difference between the you know the medical and markets as a medical crisis and then the emotional crisis kind of comes actually a little way down the road and that is oftentimes when people do need to help.

You refer to yourself what was -- personal experience so we have that family illness my husband suffers from and rare disorder called vascular and -- stand -- -- found.

The connective tissue disorder the -- -- spontaneous rupture of arteries and organs.

So his journey started off -- them an aortic dissection back in 2005.

Which.

Sort of the only analogy of the surgeon made to me at the time -- that.

Actor John Ritter he'd -- in that the terror in the hearts here in the -- of terror in the lining of the aorta and at my husband has an underlying disease that caused it to dissect since our journey continued beyond that he he went to work 1 morning and didn't come home for six weeks.

You know and then.

It was an emergency surgery we -- and went to a Cleveland clinic adolescent hospital center Johns Hopkins when he's had surgeries and want to.

Those are a lot of surgeries and it's a lot of expense when you not only emotionally but certainly financially -- how did you get help for what -- you have to do what did you go through.

Well we've been through a lot -- obviously as you said financially and the timing of this Nancy you know since we lost the business and and so -- that a life and now they have to step back and see what else you can do to help the family and always been a writer.

And so I needed to to take something that was initially a hobby and really turn into more of her career so I focused a lot on that and done.

You know at the time my house actually went into foreclosure as if we needed something else have to -- -- -- that struggle of the medical medical struggle.

So I really needs to turn things around and stepped up -- the reading so.

So you have this cascade of our problems.

Falling -- you.

And then you turn to your talents and a lot of people need to know that you turned to your talents which you had in your hand.

And you started using that you write stories now about about children read books for children right how's that going forward.

Well that's doing well and and -- book series that launched last week Adam what's it about.

It's called the secret not club it's a group of kids I also work with children in elementary school so -- There's a nice fit for -- and kind of active with the audience and and it's about a group of kids and that it now centered around community service project so the first thing the first two launched and the third and fourth -- under contract.

So that's really a silver lining in all of this about being hopeful.

And being proactive in helping out families right and then and then finding your resource -- within because your family.

That was beset by tragic circumstances and yet.

What would your vice speed -- other families are going through tragedies like this where they're where -- businesses falling their hearts are broken.

As well as losing their their homes -- be facing that what do what do they turned to the turned.

Well I have sort of looking inward as well I mean obviously we've had amazing -- from family and friends and without that support we wouldn't be where we are today but and if you also look inward and see what you don't -- to think outside of the box as far as so -- essentially.

-- lease -- -- -- -- -- her name -- she's an author he's been through a lot of circumstances but overcoming them and the -- terminal etiquette is what you've coined the phrase you're writing.

Books for children about the way you can actually see the books Hillary get the -- some -- going to our web site.

Foxnews.com Lisa -- so much thank you very much inspiring us.

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