How to find love in 2013
Advice from eHarmony co-founder
- Duration 4:49
- Date Jan 2, 2013
Advice from eHarmony co-founder
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This transcript is automatically generated
Running back did you resolve to -- love between thirteen if you did you're not alone it's one of the most popular New Year's resolutions there are right and wrong ways that a -- -- -- And here right -- -- -- doctor Neil Warren.
He is the psychotherapist and CEO and founder of good morning a year ago and we know there are a lot of people who one -- their resolutions is you know I'd I'd like to have maybe this could be the year that I find a significant other person.
A bright and my wife will not allow that.
But they are looking.
But there are a lot of people out looking right now we've got some of the don'ts for finding love first of all.
Don't assume it's easy explain that.
Follow is one of the hardest things in the world to find that person you wanna spend your whole life with for the rest the year life.
And I think people underestimate what a challenge it is -- 29 variables you have to pay attention to.
And if you don't pay attention to those you could be in deep trouble and I say -- everybody.
Finding a great person is the greatest thing that will ever happen to you finding the wrong person is the worst and the effect it ever happened to -- I could get there we also have to be happy with being OK and being alone by yourself because if you're not -- you're going to be forced to -- all.
Because you just wanna be with somebody -- No that's that's exactly right -- The fact is that.
If you're not really pretty happy with yourself you're not ready to get -- Because marriage requires an awful lot of inner.
The security and you've got to be able to be authentically yourself and you can't be with somebody who forces you into being something you.
You really aren't so you're -- dead right on that one and if you think your perfect.
Look for somebody else is perfect no one -- if anything role -- and interacting.
Yeah yeah I have two perfect people find each other we will have something like heaven on earth but.
I I've never found it in all my forty years of being.
In psychotherapy I've never found the perfect people but you want to find two people who have a lot of respect and admiration for each other.
And a lot of ability to listen and to give Barbara Bush says.
Marriage is an 82 when he proposition both people.
Give 80% of the time they take -- -- -- percent of the time it's an unselfish.
Thing that makes.
You're you're not gonna -- anybody they would -- I literally perfectly all right so let's find small army in the dues so prioritized.
She's got to be hot.
Yes well there's no getting around the back.
There's no getting around the fact that you want somebody with whom you have great chemistry.
Chemistry is just must have.
But you know what I have to confess unity harmony we don't know how to match you for chemistry chemistry is -- mysterious thing but it's an absolutely necessary thing.
But is not the only thing they're 29 things that are really crucial.
I'd say the next most important thing is to find somebody -- -- who's a lot like Q you don't -- to have to argue over every little thing.
And if you want to have values that are very similar.
You wanna have goals and aspirations if you're really hard worker you wanna marry somebody -- -- really -- accurate if you have ambition you want somebody with ambition.
Again I got that comes down to really understanding yourself and being very honest with yourself and knowing really who you are and what you want the last thing you say is he's got to decide if you really want to say I do some people -- -- just aren't cut out for marriage.
All that's that's exactly right I I love the way you talk I wish that I don't have a lot of experience via video and our staff.
I don't either that she's what do you clients at that time I.
I think I would be up I was online dating.
The fact is that if you're happy being single it's easier being single.
And if you're happier being married then find the right person -- -- that's why I think.
We we encourage people to get into.
A situation like we have an.
People well we find the person who won the -- when he nine variables is really the right person for it -- -- 560 I've.
I was in marriages that's playing that is unbelievable -- areas like all right doctor -- -- -- -- harmony dot com think they got there.
Thank you very happy.
And now the other -- Italy would stop people whose license plate was -- into --