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How Can You Make Better Life Choices?

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    Author Ken Lindner tells Alan how people can avoid making “toxic” decisions in their lives.

  • Duration 7:11
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And -- comes -- there's like Jesse has your killer emotions of new book and is also a major.

A talent agent represented some of the biggest names in -- broadcast news.

And I love the fact that the beginning of the book you and at the end of each step do you have your takeaways he can go through -- -- -- What -- we -- -- chapter and you talk about the physiology of emotions for example the idea that.

You is how you feel not how you think we can think about it but we have to feel it.

Yes and talk about -- the energy charges up our emotions.

And -- up the energy charges that are going to beat us to make a positive life choice.

And diffusing or anticipating.

The potency of the energy charges.

That can sabotage us that way.

The positive emotions.

Over power the negative emotions and that's what makes this book you read it.

As you say taveras in the emotion itself is not poisonous or non poisonous.

It's I guess how you.

React to the emotion and the energy charges you say that triggers it and then how you deal -- and after that -- is ocean itself -- say is not necessarily toxic Mellon attacked.

Anger.

Can can -- you to make it very positive life choice and act in a very positive way.

Fear can be positive or negative fear can stop you from doing something that can really hurt you -- -- -- -- -- fear as you said earlier.

You have to realize what the consequences are being in touch for -- -- -- not gonna make the change.

Absolutely and you have to know that there's a flaw.

So that you want to make a change have -- the important things is identifying.

That.

You need to change something -- need need to change your life choices or something because something's not working seat got to be objective and honest.

If you're angry.

What's the best way to express that anger most people many people yell scream sometimes they hit.

There's got to be healthy way to process is so when you when you're angry you don't.

Act out in -- way that's hurtful to yourself -- other people will sometimes there's a way to diffuse your anger.

And that's what I was talking about.

If you can think about your blessings in your life.

Or you can do something that will make you less angry do something loving do something.

With compassion.

Whatever it is we're just walk away and play some basketball something.

You know diffuse that anger has what can you don't want to do is you don't want to make an angry like choice and act out of anger.

Unless somehow.

It turns out to be a positive life choice you mentioned in the book -- story of walking in New York City.

And you're not have a great day you see a homeless person tents and we were talking about -- and I was in the I was upset that day.

And I was just too as I wrote about to start my.

Pity party.

And I saw this homeless that.

Blind.

Sitting outside on -- fifteen degree day and I went.

What am.

Possibly upset -- Exactly and when he puts in perspective let's talk about the seven steps.

You talk about preventative almost like preventive medicine and that's a key part of the senate steps at least half of them if not more.

Time to prepare yourself what if Brad talk about to be pre -- offense.

And that is.

Four steps one as we discussed earlier anticipate that there is going to be a situation where you're gonna be called on to make a life choice.

And visualize.

The choice you want to make this time the positive choice.

The second is to identify those personal emotional triggers.

Like Steve did I want to take care of -- land I would don't want my mom to bury me find those personal emotional triggers.

That will in fact lead you compel you to make a positive -- choice.

Once crunch time.

Crunch time is that moment when you're called upon to make a life choice and the four steps before hand.

Will prepare you to be a great crunch time performer.

So.

Question -- even -- regular give Chris I'm never comes.

But you have just you have to prevent yourself on not being ready when it does the -- -- -- post crunch time Brighton post crunch time.

Is reviewing.

The life choice that you made and say all right did it go wonderfully well.

As I had hoped if it did.

Feel great about it celebrated.

Positively reinforce it.

And also that core competence and your ability to effect positive change -- your life.

Will make you feel really good and as a result.

I have found that people that feel good about themselves and have that core confidence to effect positive change.

Will make more good and positive decisions -- like because they feel that they are worth.

Making positive decisions for chemistry -- do this without the help of an.

Professional psychiatrist psychologist absolutely if you read this book your killer emotions.

This is I've been working on this for thirty years I've counseled thousands of people Allen.

And it has worked for them and it's worked for me.

And a number of ways I was obese child and it got me to lose weight and stay.

-- It's gotten people to stop drinking stop smoking and and just make positive decision is is more fun for you doing this and your agent and well.

I use this in my agent in all the time but the fun part about this is when I'm AT&T and I work with people one on one.

This is my chance to help people on a on a grander scale so it is fun.

I wanna get more into the preventative stuff considering there's so many steps here to -- -- to you say make your future goal and that's what you say.

So let's just got -- the -- steps of the -- went with a little more specifically -- clearly their first.

What's operatives -- first step is to anticipate as we said that -- there's going to be a life choice that you gonna make -- anticipate.

One how are you gonna do it but whether we think about how you didn't do it so well the times -- or two so be honest second.

Identify those personal emotional -- as I did with Steve with with who -- -- -- daughter.

The third.

Is to bundled those those on personal emotional triggers put them all together and Steve did all three of them.

And then the fourth and this is very important.

Framed the issue in a way that inevitably leads you.

To make a positive framing his skating is very key here -- talked with a renewed its very key so as we discussed earlier.

Framing for Steve was.

Am I gonna take the -- and risk getting a softer -- cancer and die like my father die like my brother.

Or am I just can afford -- this drink.

And be around from the -- and be around for my kids and I have my mother bury me.

And you know you won't -- up in such a calculated.

Way.

Stacked the deck in such a calculated way that your inevitably -- each time.

To make a positive -- shorts.

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