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Let your kids fail

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    Over-parenting's effect on kids' independence

  • Duration 3:44
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As a parent.

You only want the best for your child right but what I told you'd be better off.

Letting them fail well that's what one parent teachers arguing and she joins me now to explain why.

Definitely he is a mother of two and teacher at crossroads academy in New Hampshire good morning -- Jessica good morning so and we kind of in this culture now and you.

We live with this.

Sort of the terminology of over parenting.

-- and we think we're doing the right.

Things for our children exposing them to everything getting them involved in everything helping them with their homework.

And what have we created.

Well we're exposing them to everything except for allowing kids to deal with the consequences of may be the mistakes they make in school.

Mistake they make putting stuff on line they shouldn't put online cheating on -- is.

Many parents step in a little bit too quickly.

And don't let the kids actually deal with the consequences or own up to their mistakes so for example you write your article about a parent.

Who was -- very good at doing the child's homework -- happen.

Well she was actually very good at doing their kids home Marcus at -- -- -- cut cut.

I didn't talk to a mother about the fact that her daughter had plagiarized in -- paper and the mother.

Got really upset with me and I couldn't understand why and she -- I couldn't.

Punish her daughter and cast wind she said well because I'm the one who did -- -- plagiarized your paper actually she didn't it to plagiarizing she just admitted to.

Writing the paper which I guess as a form of later I guess there's so many problems there yes what you're you have some tips for parents learn now not later when -- me.

Out like teach middle school which is a great place to make mistakes I've -- middle school and high school and you figure you know middle school as a time for kids to really come of age to go through.

All kinds of stuff that they're where the stakes are low -- mean if they cheat on a -- in middle school and -- -- caught.

Let them deal with that let them own up to it you know someday it could be cheating on their taxes and ending up in federal prison let them deal looked a little stuff while the stakes are still really -- also trust the teacher.

How it's playing that one -- and then add -- caveat to that I have two boys.

I don't.

I'm not saying to have a complete belief in any educational system -- saying yes.

You need to trust in the process a little bit more before you jump in and assumed that the institution nor -- teacher or.

The administration is handling it incorrectly at least give -- a shot to help your kids learn aiming at teachers become teachers because they want -- help with that exactly and let your child.

I take the reins and they think this is the toughest one a last night ironically I heard Paul tough -- who's been in this very successful book how children succeed.

He had just like you do that kids should fail earlier on in life to build character.

So what do you mean -- your last ten.

Well think of think of going to school as a bit of a hero's journey and your kid is the hero of the story and that kid comes up against a dragon he's got a fight.

It's a mom comes into school and lobbed a hand grenade at the dragon -- not gonna learn anything about how to deal with those issues and when they hit high school when they hit college and they have a disappointment.

They're really not gonna have to know how to land on their own two feet it's going to be really difficult for them to deal with this plan and later on they don't deal with -- while they're young and it's so important you've talked to a lot of people and our age category.

And -- they when they interview young people now than a lot of them have never experienced and I care and it's a big mistake down the -- -- can be.

And I got -- start.

Again a problem and it's an interesting discussion and we will continue to have it on the show and you've written about it just -- -- -- -- and a teacher interests.

Thank you so much.

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