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Let your child fail?

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    Teacher: It helps build self-confidence

  • Duration 3:25
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As far as to me back.

Well turns out failure is an option when it comes to your kids our next guest says it's okay to let.

Them fail she's a parent and a teacher joining us now is Jessica lady she's a mother of two and teacher -- crossroads academy in New Hampshire -- nice to see this morning nice to see you have.

We -- having just interest -- discussion here about the way in which we connect with our kids and I think there has been this tendency over the past generation to.

Encourage kids so much that we never let them fail at all.

Right well encourage them so much and don't let them experience disappointment we don't we love our kids we just don't want them to feel sad we don't want them to feel -- And so we tend to not let them deal with the consequences of.

Failing making mistakes before we dive into some specifics on how to turn this around what what are the consequences of never letting kids fail we think about it a great president like Abraham link right.

-- what how many times he failed.

-- running for office getting elected it was disappointment after disappointment after disappointment in any gets elected that.

-- to congress and then of course the presidency a panel picture this picture Abraham Lincoln makes a mistake he he does something wrong but instead of having to deal with himself.

A parent comes in steps in forms has now honey don't worry we'll take care and that's because what you're really telling your kid when you do that is.

I don't think you're capable of handling this yourself I don't have confidence in you figure a big enough person to handle this yourself -- take care before you.

And we think that's helping them -- really what it's doing is undermining confidence and we also praised -- so much right praise them so much so that they.

Don't want to take risks with their lives because they don't feel that if they if we keep telling them you're a genius you're a genius and -- gonna take the risks that right in other areas of their life.

Well that's also external and what we want them to do is to say.

I feel good about what I just did I don't need people to tell me I'm great every time I turn around.

So some of the tips to actually -- some of this around to what your kids fail learn now not later what do you mean.

School is a fantastic place to Fallon I teach middle school and it's a great spot for kids to be fit for example to make a mistake if they cheat on something or they're mean to another can.

If we hold them accountable in middle school the stakes are just lower -- they don't have to deal with the fact that.

You know later if they learn in middle school they don't have to make a mistake in college losing jobs.

Get kicked out of school later on go to prison right exactly exactly -- Trust your teacher that's an important -- I was sticking up for teachers but.

They know how to discipline a child properly.

When I say trust the teacher really what I mean is trust the from the educational process a little bit more before you step in and take -- I think.

Teachers are there because they really want kids to succeed they want kids to learn they want kids to become better people -- if -- step and and co -- the whole process before we've even.

Waited to see if maybe our kids can handle that he really undermines that whole process and and it can record relationship with the teacher.

Let your children take the reins what do you mean by this is your third tip here.

One of the things I try to teach their kids and I at my students is to come to me and talk to me if I have a problem.

I'm really prefer if the kids come talk to me -- -- their parents email me your calm me and say.

You know want my kid left her homework home last night he -- an extra day generally -- -- now.

I'd really like if your daughter came to talk to me about that first because she needs to learn to stand up for herself because we were trying to teach in South Africa -- yeah.

Great stuff just -- Leahy thank you so much for joining us down six that is the ship coming up on the show.

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