Is failure key to success?
Letting your kids fail could be beneficial
- Duration 3:42
- Date Feb 4, 2013
Letting your kids fail could be beneficial
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How children succeed that's -- talking about right now parents listen up because one author says letting.
Our children failed can be beneficial and that failure is a key component in developing strong characteristics.
To survive -- it later in life in tennis now is that author Paul tough he's a father.
And he's getting a lot of feedback from this bestselling book how children succeed good morning to -- Good morning there's so much to get through in this book I encourage all parents to go out and read this because there are some.
Very differing points of view of let's start with one of your tips which is to praise children's efforts but in a certain way what.
Well the -- at the center of the book is that.
We've been putting way too much emphasis on IQ and what he's help children build up its characters tracks like grit and curiosity and conscientious that's.
The reality is that when we -- kids for their talent when we tell them you know you're geniuses -- brilliant -- -- what it does is it makes them think that this is just something they can't control of something it's something they're born with.
When we communicate to them.
That why they succeed is because of hard work we praise their effort.
It -- -- a very different message it's that says you know -- got to try harder I can actually make a difference in how well I do from and that has an enormously positive and -- impact on how kids do and challenges -- absolutely also.
I know a lot of Taipei parents lot of helicopter parents they need to in this is when your tips let your kids fail every once in awhile.
Yeah that's a big one and and you know I can sympathize with those parents because.
-- -- there's something deep in my DNA and all all of our DNA that wants to protect our kids from failure from challenge.
But the reality is that when kids don't have the opportunity to really failed to struggle at something.
They miss out on these character building opportunities character strengths like.
Grit and self control are born out of failure and when we protect our kids too much and don't let them experience real failure they miss out on -- opportunity to develop -- strength.
And in fact in the book you talk about IQ verses some of those characteristics like curiosity.
Perseverance conscientious in this gratitude.
-- you say that don't always end up being better predictors.
Of how well kids will do in life why.
Well I think for a lot of reasons I went and looked at research from a lot of different fields economics and neuroscience and psychology and all pointing in the same direction.
IQ certainly matters it helps to be Smart but we put way too much emphasis -- And the reality is that if kids have things like grit and self control.
They can leverage that intelligence that can deal with real problems -- -- sure if all they have is like you they're gonna meet those challenges and get completely -- I read that one of the things about is going through the process of writing this book you now as a parent are more relaxed.
You know you're not such a hurry to have -- -- be the first Randal learned reading or writing and counting and stuff like that.
You're right I was one of those anxious parents and my son was born three years ago I thought I you know had to get those.
Mozart CD is the baby Einstein dvds right there in the maternity ward.
But reading all of this research help me to calm down and a lot of what I am trying to do now that my son is three and a half is is to pull back a little -- relax to let him.
Solve more of its own problems -- some of his own battles in the fall sometimes and not always get help back up.
I think that's really what he wants he wants to demonstrate his independence and the more that I let him do that the more I think he's gonna develop these character strength.
They're gonna make a huge difference form later on -- Paul he may be three but he needs to be -- -- -- and I.
-- that he needs to fail according to you to succeed this is an amazing book Paul tough author of how children succeed.