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Why do some kids handle pressure while others fall apart?

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    How competition can help your children

  • Duration 3:29
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-- it's competitive world we all know that and for some kids that pressure might be too much so why can some children handle it while others fall apart -- right now is Po Bronson he's co author of this book you got to get -- called top dog.

The -- of winning and losing -- do why do we have kids -- a boy and warriors and warriors like W a RR -- war.

Kids are.

How small kids are born with both genes but one quarter kids are born with warrior only jeans and one quarter born with -- -- only jeans and the question is what you do what you do with that overtime so what you do is you have a kid.

And we we all know these kids that they get all worried about the castle -- -- would -- -- failed to break out -- still stuck trying.

Stressed out on the same test within their neighbor might not -- be ambivalent about the same thing and get a better school.

It -- you describe the warriors the warriors might be a -- can't really even do their.

Pay much attention to their homework needed big deadline and but on test day -- really -- they do.

Enormously well on that in that act actually thrive under that pressure so as parents we have these two are types.

Other little things matter around the home sibling competition is really important all that sibling competition over the remote control where you sit in the car -- Matters over time to.

And get kids -- to the stress of competition rough housing actually is really good and just went parents rough house with kids.

Because when you compete you need to be able to kind of go hard but not cross that line when parents rough house with kids -- -- kids.

Expand their comfort zone but they hold them back from crossing that line is are things that get kids used to competing.

So liability I have a kid that freezes on test does great in school -- -- -- tests on testing it's -- -- tell a story to decided it would do well.

We'll cut -- -- could have put him or her on.

To turn that around so kids need more competition in their young lives not less but it has to be the right kind incremental incremental.

Incremental competition that inoculate them to the stress in the media and so in a school environment spelling -- chess club signed -- these things allow kids to use their mind academically.

But also they're there for many other reasons not just the final score they make friends in these environments.

They they learn to master different material stop talking about winning with a stop talking about winning and losing all the time.

And showed them.

It also can you swim meets sports teams.

Boy Scouts all these things.

Get kids ready for the stress of competing but it's in -- safer environment where kids need is to be taxed but not overwhelmed.

You trying to watch that fine line with your kid so that they can.

-- that competition out there in the real world real quick is Joseph Montana -- as the cool Joseph always he.

Did he become that through great parenting a great coaching as -- San Francisco guy who.

Grew up watching Joseph Montana Joseph was clearly born as a warrior able to handle that incredible stress in this crucial moments.

And what goes with that is that on a day -- day basis he might not have been.

That engage that motivated he waited for those crucial moment if you -- knows how to -- that John Candy you know -- a crucial touchdown drive in the Super Bowl.

George Washington was someone who could walk into -- up close look bullets whistle by his -- And not even not even for and so he'd be born a word it's all you're both top dog Holbrooke and thanks so much for coming and thanks -- -- fascinating topic and we'll deal with a daily basis it.