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Food and wine aren’t the only stellar exports from France. Pamela Druckerman, author of “Bebe Day by Day: 100 Keys to French Parenting,” says p...
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-- Hello welcome to help dog I'm Dr.
-- French food French wine many would say these are some of the country's best exports.
But my -- -- -- says parents are also high and that -- Pamela -- woman is the author of the day it day by day 100 keys to French parent thing.
And she's here to tell me some of the steps welcome thank you very much the good day by day when a book -- always had this book when my kids were little.
When I missed that he didn't write in on time -- the -- there waiting for the other and I'm on I love -- -- I was telling them before.
But you are an American living in Paris.
Very Smart lady that you -- And he's one of the things that you did I guess is that -- parents and friends how they raise their children.
Yeah I didn't expect when I had a baby in France to find anything special about French parenting.
But little by little through -- of small observations I noticed that life is different for parents there.
That children and France and typically eat much better for starters.
You don't have kids eating just kids about the time grants and -- -- the same thing.
There were babies who were sleeping through the night much sooner than American the American babies around -- -- -- -- for months old is very common babies where.
Doing their nights -- -- -- -- why the difference -- -- -- before we get into the specifics why would the French parents be smarter than us -- well there's there's a different in some ways French parenting resembles what American parenting was like when I grew up in the seventies and eighties okay a little bit old school.
It's -- does not revolve entirely around the kids and that's better for the kids that's being over -- -- well.
So it gives them a sense of more responsibility.
And you know figure it out yourself type of thing I think do a combination of having been very strict about a few key things in very comfortable -- different presser.
Much more comfortable -- the American parents I know that I was saying no and meaning it.
Because they don't want to fall into that cycle of kind of perpetual negotiations that we often find ourselves in here in America.
But at the same time they give kids a lot of freedom might you know French kids bake cakes and -- you know load the dishwasher or three years old and they make salad dressing and then it.
But I gotta tell you one of my -- and I think you know this is definitely my fault you know I was an immigrant.
And my parents where are working and you know they gave me certain things but I saw the struggle and of course.
That mature me in a very independent way started here I am now.
Years later a little bit more successful -- more educated them and parents -- my kids come along.
My sense is home gonna give you things that I never had before -- you like part of my life and I know that I screwed it up big time.
Buttons here in America we have a lot of that we got parents like me -- field.
I don't know almost like they would they remember what they had to achieve and now they want that compassion that -- of compassion.
Absolutely what you think gets back.
Now I think compassion is great and pro compassion I I just think that kids have started to take up such an enormous role in our lives that we become sort of chauffeurs and servants to them.
And giving them back a little responsibility.
You -- that you had written the previous book right -- bringing up.
The bit.
-- up at bank yes and now this is the bit day by day this is sort of the sequel all but the big day of the -- today.
The first thought was really a memoir it was about how I landed in France I discovered French parenting -- I tried to figure out how parents.
In France for getting these these great solutions -- but people's readers read to me and said with all due respect your personal story what do I do.
One -- -- you -- the keeper of the refrigerator in the fridge.
So what does that mean -- can -- the fridge.
It's -- very Costello.
This kids don't snack in between meals and France there's one official snack time of the day in the afternoon.
And basically they heat well at times it's it's it sounds so not like in my house every other hour.
Kids come from school -- their friends they opened it did none of that.
I think this helps explain why there's a much -- lower level of childhood obesity in France is that.
Kids eat at meal times but not so much between just -- today and what it also is that when a -- -- -- So he's more likely to eat well at meal time so it creates this sort of virtuous cycle don't let your child interrupt you.
Mean yes.
I think in America we've gotten used to stopping everything when a child comes in and right that's why you -- moms and -- to say I can't finish a cup the cup the I can't finish a conversation with my spouse had to take a date night in order to have any quality time.
In France children of course try to -- their normal kids to write an apparent we'll say.
Excuse me honey I'm in the middle something I'll be with -- enemy had had a Momo.
Exact amount but that reverse is true is well when a child is -- happily.
Parents try to let him be -- can learn the skill of plain and learn some patience and self control.
-- -- like this one let them eat cake.
Then when I visited French that was on the weekends.
I very quickly -- they're all baking cakes and right and it's a way of teaching kids patience and self control even little kids get dissipate.
-- -- simple cake recipes and you learn sort of slowly how to follow the instructions in how to.
Get pleasure out of slowly accomplishing something the other side is you get to -- the -- at the end but I eat it normally -- the as an afternoon snack right after.
So it takes away so it takes away that -- costs above who have read fabricated food bill or or packaged foods and other which gives you a sense of.
How things develop this and that that sit together there's a lot of it that doesn't mean I make and I get some rest is in the books.
-- -- kids that you have a live apart from them.
And it.
Tell me about what.
-- parents especially moms will say to me this one this one friend -- said.
She's going back to work in part to that her daughter would see that purple -- doesn't revolve around her daughter she said.
If -- child thinks that you know the mothers all the -- happiness rests on her.
It's so it's a lot of responsibility for the child -- she says.
And transparency generally that you know there should be this mysterious adult realm that kids aspire to join -- -- -- -- they say don't let your kids just run into your room whenever they want some some of them say that right you should have your own adult -- and -- talk about -- time in the evenings.
They're very active parents they're very involved they're very much in communication with the kids but they like to have there.
Their privacy you know.
I want to get to one of the Latin tip tips you have -- says.
Punish rarely even make it matter yet so what does that mean.
I think that day they try to pick their battles.
And have -- no go areas that the kids except as kind of laws of nature.
You're one of that one of those is often your parents decide for themselves -- -- it's politeness you have to say hello and good by the people he -- -- But.
But they don't.
Jump on kids for every militant -- because they think that -- that your authority is diminished a few years you're using now the time some states choose your battles.
As a matter of like this hits home because one of my next door neighbor is both are French and they have a different child and they're raising her.
And my argument with him is that you know he's trying he does -- you know -- know the -- this is my time I take my naps.
Don't interrupt me and all of that and my kids are coming in and out of my life like there's no tomorrow they -- take me out of surgery sometimes I think so but.
So and I sometimes I wish I had I had implemented some of the rules and I think that the important to consider.
A lot of different -- and in the book are really just common sense ideas that things that some parents are probably doing and are ready.
And this just kinda gets reinforcement it's it's the kind of book you can browse through and certain ideas will resonate more different times and it.
What can people get more information.
I have a web -- Pamela to recommend dot com.
Okay we'll have that and remember this is the -- parents look at it bit bit.
Dave by day and it's has a lot of the tips and and things I think -- should consider this because I think you'll.
Hope you live as you raise your child on the line thank you so much for coming thank you very much -- brokered -- C.
How did you have any health questions you can seldom -- of fox about the many of functions not come I'm Dr.
Manny thanks for watch.
