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The disturbing facts I guess but interfaith marriages.
I mean is gonna get it out there right now is that generally they're more unhappy.
They're more unstable and they -- -- a high divorce rate explain it that in this.
-- -- that week kind of look at America's listen if you just get married walked on the -- all your problems are solved but that's not the case -- -- failed marriages.
So in July 2010 I did a survey of 2500.
Americans including an over sample of people in interfaith marriages and I found that.
Generally they had a lower rate of marital satisfaction they said they were less happy in their marriage not a huge gap but there was definitely out there.
I also found that.
In certain combinations that was a much higher rate of divorce for instance evangelicals married to non evangelicals.
Had an extremely high rate of divorce compared with evangelicals that even if they -- -- within the Christian thing.
Even if they were asleep they were -- even I mean lying person if they were Marian Catholic yes they had a a higher significantly higher rate of divorce work out why that.
Well I think you know when you look at that the two groups black Protestants and evangelicals that -- the the list of rates of marital satisfaction when they were in interfaith marriages I think you can say that those are two groups that have to have an explosive this understanding of faith which is to say.
They think generally there is a single half the salvation and obviously you can understand at their -- not going to achieve it.
-- that might affect their levels of happiness but there's also another factor here I I ask people in the survey.
Do you argue about religion with your spouse and it turns out that not many people -- -- couples not many more people injured couples argue about it compared with think -- couples.
Is the practices that of religion it's the traditions its rituals.
It's how you spend your time how you spend your money and how you want to raise your children.
And marriage counselors and legislators will tell you those of the three things couples are most likely to argue about.
And faith affects all of those then.
You you're really the -- the ground when it comes expressing that -- having -- to -- my -- marriage as interface you for your -- the agent who witnessed.
Traditional value to you why he -- -- I'm guessing my idol and good faith Sanofi -- patent -- exactly at that.
But they -- subtle tees and that was of what was interesting about -- -- -- about your book is that there subtleties that you are not really aware of when you -- down you know what and what happened so this is what's happening now you know our age of marriage the average age for marriage in America is going up -- -- When he isn't thirties are typically a time when we -- at our most secular -- -- -- from religious institutions we don't think of ourselves often as religious.
And then we're meeting -- -- act that most secular point in life.
And what we're not aware of are not being honest with ourselves about sometimes.
Is that people come back.
And that we will want to raise our children the way we were raised we will want to be married by a member of the clergy we will want to see your children go through apartments -- circumcision or baptism or one of these things.
And it sometimes when we're in our twenties we're not very reflective about -- what will happen later we don't realize -- -- -- those things are how.
How much -- is religion -- cultural like all the traditions around the religion are really what we're focused on rather than the doctrines themselves.
Well I think you know Americans tend to sort of help a pragmatic approach to faith and -- I do think it's.
I wouldn't just dismiss it -- cultural but I do think that there are certain religious traditions that are very important to us and that's healthy is expressed.
I don't think actually that we talk about the theological things very much an interestingly.
We're much more a much less likely to get into marriage with -- of the different political party -- -- of a different religion consume opponents can be religions -- good but politics is something we talk about all the time you know very -- -- you would find out very shortly after you know starting to date somebody what their views -- abortion -- gun control equality debate when they voted for the last election.
But religion I think sometimes Americans now think it's very personal like I don't -- -- ask this is -- this is your relationship with god and I don't wanna ask too much about it.
More than half of the interfaith couples surveyed did not talk about how they wanted to raise their children before they were married -- -- this is really where it comes out.
Rightly being here you know I also was talking to you a pastor about interfaith marriages and they -- a lot of times what -- you find is that.
Couples are not.
Really orthodox in their faith and so which is what draws them to gather.
That's -- me the question about cultural and that -- eight.
And they're really buying a bond they got something else that's more important or more of a religion to them -- their work or there.
Average recreational activities you know Lauren loved climbing together -- -- love music we love plays right.
Or we're both accountants or something like and that's really the binding element.
We tend to marry the people that we -- and we married the people we work with the he would go to school so we have those things in common and even beyond that four out of the five Americans I surveyed said common values were more important to making a marriage work -- a common religious tradition which is understandable and but when you get down -- the values can seem somehow generic you know you say.
Well I think you know we should raise our children to treat people as they would want to be treated or you know to do community service these are sort of broad categories which are important but when it -- -- -- brass tax you know.
Are we get a senator -- the Catholic school Jewish summer camp should we -- you know should we go to mosque every week these are sort of the questions.
That I think couples have to navigate on the day to day basis and you can't -- kind of confused a little bit as a gold.
Like how in Hawaii and realize my -- -- my favorite coming out of -- one parent or the other.
-- so about 45%.
Of interfaith couples said they were raising kids in to fit in in what I'm sorry in one -- The smallest percentage that they were raising kids in -- faith and interestingly that number went down as the kids got older so what's happening as it becomes more and more impractical to try to do the two feet thing.
One a couple of talked to said it would let their kids weren't athletic because synagogue church and team -- on the weekend might be a little.
I wanna I wanna they thank you very much -- of Schaefer Riley for being here the book is called -- safety was part and I also -- huge she would go to -- -- dot com.
For the article of seven things you don't know.
About interfaith marriage very interesting very and real practical it's not it's not -- roses but it really does have opportunities for growth in mature at -- thank you very much.
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