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Hello welcome to -- spirited debate I'm Lauren Green -- that was -- correspondent for Fox News Channel.
On October 2.
2006 a mild mannered man in -- Roberts husband and father of three young children.
Burst into an Amish schoolhouse he was well armed with guns and ammo.
You ordered to teachers and the boys to leave -- proceeded to tie -- the ten young girls.
-- police surrounded the one room schoolhouse Roberts shot all ten girls and that himself.
Wanton violence against the peaceful Amish stunned the world.
But what was even more stunning is the forgiveness that the -- showed roberts' wife Marie.
-- has kept silent for all these years until now she married moved a few miles away and has written a book called.
One like still shines.
-- -- bill joins me now.
-- -- thank you so much Mary thank you for having me but first -- how are you doing.
I'm doing well you know people often ask me you know doesn't it get easier do you forget about it and I won't ever forget about it.
But with the passage of time there are things to celebrate as well as things that we still morning.
You'll always hear that around with you but -- have time does heal a few of those when Jessica yeah.
And speaking of time it has been seven years since this.
Absences shooting -- all this -- -- we're working we're -- guns those horrifying thing.
Why did it take you seven years to write this book.
And then initially -- aftermath of that it was so widely reported on through the news media just out to me like I didn't have anything else to say that was an ugly scenes happen.
As time has gone by in our family has found healing wellness in life.
I've been asked to share my story.
You know with church groups and women's conferences and whenever I do that people come up and talked me afterwards to talk about the pain that they're going through and you know that deep alleys and dark places that -- -- facing.
And they always -- fast or even write a book and it was something that I thought a lot about.
And then around the fifth anniversary.
Started to think about a little bit more it seemed like.
It wasn't just about telling my story but it was about sharing the hope that I've found and the white that I found the love of god that I found that -- so impacted my life.
With the hope that I can give away what I perceived.
Is that the grand purpose you talk about and finally deciding to write this book as Graham group is that they got house -- Right right -- you know for me to think that I could redeem the circumstances that my life.
If he can take all of these broken pieces and make something beautiful out of it.
How could he not do that for every one -- -- you know the irony of that morning is you were actually leading a prayer group at your church praying for the safety of children.
This is going to be the most.
Horrific thing to -- be thinking god didn't answer my prayer I mean you were the ones to be reached -- gone.
You know I think that god I believe that god hears every prayer and I do believe that he answers them.
It doesn't always happen the way we think it's going to or sometimes the way we hope.
But I don't think that our circumstances are an indication of whether or not he's answered you know specific players -- what was that morning like for him.
It was a gorgeous morning it was Indian summer kind of day you know was very warm sky was clear the windows were open.
We could hear the sounds of harvesting going on you know in the neighboring farms and we walked the kids down to the bus stop that morning trying to keep the kids -- -- since I have loved you and and you know it didn't have any of them markers.
I terrible day it looks like everything was good.
-- Everything changed and then there was just no indication before and then when you finally found out what was happening.
What was going through your mind.
You know I got that -- -- and he -- I'm not coming home I knew from the sound of his -- -- I would never see him again.
There is just something so different so -- about the way he spoke to me.
I had no idea what that was going to mean and so on one hand I was listening to the things he said.
And at the same time I'm still trying to rap my -- mind around the first sentence.
One and I -- you've been asked this question a lot and and I'm sure people with some of you are asking the -- -- why did this happen it was there any reason that you can think of that he did this.
In the letter he alludes to their reasoning behind it being lots of our first daughter.
She was born premature and only went for twenty minutes and so in some might he felt like he was getting back -- -- for the loss that we had sustained.
But what -- take it out on other children went.
He -- why would that somehow.
I really don't know and I don't think that's a question that anyone can.
Understand you know there were so many things back to -- that day.
-- there in the latter on the -- to me that just didn't make any sense and I don't think someone who was in the right frame of mind.
You know would really be able to understand the logic that he thought you know in the moment.
Here in hindsight and I think you talk sociologist and psychologist and he probably was suffered from some unequivocal depression is that what what -- and I don't.
He would -- through bouts of depression periodically that I knew were related to the loss of her first daughter but they can keep him from going to work.
And he was still able to interact with our family you know they didn't change his behavior -- any kind of marked way.
It would last for a couple days and he would come out of it.
As much as I encouraged him to see how whether you care counselor doctor picking our pastor friend someone.
He always said that he could handle it on its -- And so when I've talked with counselors about that they suggested that those bouts of clinical depression resulted in a psychotic break.
Are remote most recent shooting in this way is -- sandy hook when that when that broke.
Did that were called memories for you -- -- that sort of bring about all the pain.
You know I think every time I hear about a shooting it kind of takes me back to that moment.
And I can feel so much for those families back.
You know your world changes in an instant and you don't know what that's going to look like and you don't really know.
And even how to breathe in those moments in my heart goes out to all the families that are affected by the -- One of the things happen out vision that was released on this home.
The Amish they actually came to you they offered forgiveness they came to terms from home and nobody else would.
Right within the first few hours after the shooting at several Amish men walking on the street I could see them from the window my -- -- -- -- came in the driveway and spoke with my father.
You know I can see there arms being put around my dad and their hands resting on his shoulder when he came in -- he told us that they said they had -- internally.
And they were extending compassion inquiries over gambling that they were concerned about me and my children.
You know and they -- they -- to come as soon as they were able to see how we were doing.
And then at the funeral they came again I didn't know they would be there was a total surprise but it was such.
Beauty and grace again in that moment as we came into the church in solving cameras and -- reporters and I'm thinking to myself.
How are we going to be -- would have this private moment of grief just our family.
And then as became around the corner and saw Amish people walking towards us they kind of formed a crescent shaped wall and new solar car -- drive through.
And once we care through they stood back in line and the only thing that could be seen when their backs who couldn't see us -- off from the street.
While that is incredibly powerful you talk about your walk on water moment what was that about.
You know -- afternoon I knew that my world was changing and I knew that everything -- -- -- to be true about my wife was over.
And I had no idea what -- you know I was in a place of complete and total desperation.
And I knew that I had two choices I -- either choose to believe that they -- it that I read about and -- in the pages of the Bible.
And I heard people testify to you in church or otherwise was entirely true and somehow he would come to rescue our family.
Or I could choose to believe that we were going down like the fastest sinking ship and even though I couldn't comprehend the way for him to rescue us I knew that I had nothing to lose by trusting the lord.
I kind of just threw myself upon the lord in -- -- I trust you I don't know what this looks like and I don't know what you can do at best -- Do something with that and I think that conversation with god was the moment that set my life on the path.
That has taken me -- and I am now.
Well the book is called as wonderful book one -- those -- -- thank you very much for being on us -- -- thank you -- -- powerful story thank you.
And that is it for this episode of us were -- thank you so much on line great.
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