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Well most parents are willing to do just about anything for their children but when you know -- crossing the line.
Author Lisa Miller wrote a compelling article this week.
-- racist while bikini race to the top among the most competitive people may elicit the most grotesque behaviors the fact is that all kinds of parents -- advantage for their kids when they -- in -- The very state of being a parent of skewers clear ethical reasoning are parents going beyond ethical boundaries or is this just good -- let's bring in our -- -- -- -- African grown and flown parenting from the empty nest Jennifer Brahimi Wallace freelance writer.
And doctor Thomas -- psychotherapist -- Cecile thanks.
Jennifer isn't this just a fight against -- natural impulse to be a good parent.
Well I think like all moms and our parents we all want what's best for our children but there is a alarming there's a line between what's best for your child.
And essentially stealing from other people's children Tom could you relate to -- -- in on a personal level does this hit home -- But I mean you know again we as parents we were gonna do everything we can for our -- they can give you a quick personal story.
My son lives in kindergarten several years ago its fighters goalie from someone that says -- I Kucinich is like a greater turning seven before it -- six my wife explained -- she simply said.
Sometimes parents will hold their kids -- right oftentimes is responsible is next heating.
I'm not saying that's cheating but you know sometimes we need to look at what we're what we're doing in the eyes -- children.
Not just -- and Lisa maybe they came at a Malcolm Gladwell book out liars wherever when solve oh if I hold my child back when you that's gonna really give them a leg up and they're going to be much more likely to get a great job you can be.
Maybe admitted to a better college as a result of that and -- all these parents jumping on that bandwagon to get their kids a leg up is that a good parenting.
Well I think a lot of parents are really doing it for that reason I know that that's the reason -- -- by the think a lot of people look at a child his immature not ready to start school.
And really thinking about what's best for their child not really felt that the more sinister motive that you -- yeah.
-- to -- what we're glad you think that seems to take a look at some of the dozen examples we have here in the -- through these appeared that fathers are coaching their child's Little League team in an effort to.
Other coaching and that's that's a nice thing right.
But then you know getting their -- do -- play cleanup like on on the on the field parents competing their completing their child's homework at night.
Doing it for them not even allowing them to do it using connections to get their child into a better college -- if I mean.
So some of that seems nefarious and some of it seems like a natural thing well I think there in certain pockets of the country there has sort of started this.
Arms race you know the author talks about the war of -- parenthood and I think there is a little bit of an arms race going on.
You know you see some people hiring a -- you -- -- for your child.
What your child have but I think most parents are not despite these are the Al -- -- about I mean doc how we supposed to.
How -- we supposed to parent in this way how to we know we've crossed the line -- let our kids tell us they wanna join Taekwondo.
Do not do their homework and where's the line.
Well you have a light I think that there's a lot of great here that's the problem is not always a fine line with you know it comes to homework for example.
I mean a more for of course to -- help markets tomorrow.
But we're -- at home doing it for them -- -- -- too many people would do that to be honest with you but I'm sure there are but I released yes it -- a good example for children.
As a transition into adolescence and adulthood so we -- really setting them up for failure for doing the work for them we we need they need personal responsibility got to figure it out yourself.
Absolutely you know one of the things she describes in this -- -- she calls -- had a war she says it's -- you know it's a battle that rages and we found we lose our moral compass.
During this process and I think that's where the south in the article it I don't think when there's -- moral compass I think we know right from wrong we learned it when we were children.
That compass is is deep with tennis and just because -- become parents that -- changes at all final word just.
Well I think we have to realize the lessons were giving our children and if you want your lesson to be.
What you do is not good enough so mommy has to do your homework and that's the lesson that child -- -- for the rest of their lives.
You try that this is someone else would do my work around your debut wanna act but -- host the show formula and I'm -- okay yeah you wanna do and I.
Our thanks Elise we also have we sorry doctor Thomas cursing -- as well and Jennifer -- Wallace thanks for -- suspect here it.
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